Chief of sinners

This morning in my routine of hitting the blogs linked on the right hand side of the page, I went to "Gratitude and Hoopla", where he mentioned another blog "FoolishBlog". Instantly I knew I'd be a repeat hitter of Foolishblog, and after reading through the last two posts proceeded right back here to my home and linked to him.
His most recent two posts happened to be on a subject I was handed recently. I was praying recently for something entirely unrelated to the subject and the next thing I knew I was on the floor confessing to God what a wretch(2 : a base, despicable, or vile person ) I was. I can only assume this sudden knowledge came from God because I generally like to assume I"m a good person. Anyway, foolishblogs posts were concerning this scripture :“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” — 1 Timothy 1:15

He states : "I have often wondered how Paul could call himself “the chief of sinners” and do so honestly. Usually when people say things like this, their words sound like a beautiful woman smearing mud on herself and saying, “No, really—I’m an ugly person!” They don’t believe what they’re saying and no one else does, either. It feels too deliberate, too artificial. But Paul doesn’t sound like that in 1 Timothy 1:15. He really believed what he was saying."

The thing that I was most struck by, as I pondered my own unworthiness weeks ago, (note - the topic was quickly shoved to the background as 'better' things to think about came along), was how very horrible I was. God shouldn't want to give me ANYTHING, God, the ultimate example of grace, shouldn't even be bothering Himself with me. At the moment it seemed pointless to ask for anything of Him because I knew He shouldn't listen. But looking now, and especially pondering some of the things on Foolishblog, I am thinking I may of been very close to 'right' thinking. Maybe it's more about just living daily with the awe and love for a Savior Whose grace does abound so much that even someone as wretched as I am could find His hand moving in their life.

Truly, I don't deserve the mercy. You have NO idea. But that's the main thing, no one can see into someone elses life. I can love my family or my friends.... but would I love them if I could - as Christ does - truly see the basest of their instincts and desires? I need to ponder this more, so you'll probably hear more about it later. But, I'll leave with you foolishblogs breaking down of the verse.

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”
This is a precious reality that is reliable, immovable, and able to be leaned upon; this truth deserves our full, strong, desperate, and happy embrace: that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, even (and especially) the worst of the worst. There’s something to be happy about. There’s something to wake up in the morning for. There’s something to shout from rooftops and share in living rooms.