Gentlemen, we've lost the moon.

I'm going to share something with you. It's a hard thing to share, and you may judge me for it - that's ok - I've judged myself for it as well. But I am striving for an authentic, real, genuine life that shows not just victory and faith, but the struggle as well. I hate the fact that the church world today does not show the struggle very much, except in simple things rather than the hard ones.

So I am going to tell the hard things today.


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Did you watch Apollo 13? Terrific movie, truly. But there was a point in the movie when the men receive a command that Jim Lovell (played by Tom Hanks) realizes effectively ends their mission. They will no longer land on the moon, their mission now is to try and get home safely. It was a hard pill to swallow. Jim Lovell turns to his crew mates and says this:

"Gentlemen, we've lost the moon."

There is silence in the cabin as the men digest the information and process the disappointment.

"Gentlemen, we've lost the moon."

I feel exactly the same way.

Last week the call came that my mom was beyond my dad's care. He's tried, and he's tried hard, but she has delusions because of the Alzheimers that leave her angry concerning him and all she does is try and kick him out of the house. He couldn't do it anymore. He was ready to put her in a nursing home.

It was decided then that I would leave San Antonio and move in with them, to see how long we can stave off the nursing home. I'm leaving San Antonio.
I'm moving in with my parents.
Gentlemen, we've lost the moon.

The part I struggle with is doing this with the right attitude. Not with regret, or longing for something that I cannot have but with a full complete heart towards doing the right thing and not spending my time longing for what I can't have.

In catching up on the blog reading that I have missed this past weekend, I found the weekly prayer that Ted Gossard puts up over at "Jesus Community". The prayer this week was:

Grant us, Lord, not to anxious about earthly things, but to love things heavenly; and even now, while we are placed among things which are passing away, to hold fast to those that shall endure; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Going back is the right thing to do. And doing the right thing is something that shall endure. It's a Godly, Heavenly thing. San Antonio will pass away. Life with my niece and nephew on this earth will pass away. Doing the right thing, right here, right now will never pass away.
So:

Grant me Lord, not to be anxious about San Antonio and the kids, but to love things heavenly; and even now, when I am placed among things which are passing away, to hold fast to those that shall endure; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.