It's my birthday!

My God is amazing. He is the inventor of creativity itself.

He is the imaginer and creator of laws of gravity and pink flamingos, physics and peacocks, flowers that follow the sun across the sky, and birds that have to regurgitate food they've eaten in order to feed their children, wasps, bees, roses, pear trees, seasons, ice, snow, sleet, and a sun that both causes cancer and prevents it. He designed bodies, both human and animal to fall into unconscious states called "sleep" in order to rest itself. And still made time to ensure that the oceans would only go so far.

He made stars that no man could possibly count, and then He named them. And He still knows their names, and He knows when each one falls.

He designed galaxies that even our most powerful telescopes will never be able to see. And then He designed the human eye to process more information in a split second than our computers could do in 30.

And then, 26 years ago, God made me.

In all His vast creativity, He created me. He created me with my quirks, and mannerisms. He created my sense of humor and my eyes. He created my fingers that He knew would one day play the piano, because He created a gift for playing and put it inside me. He created me lovingly, and knowingly, seeing ahead the things that I would go through. Yet, He created me any way, not sparing me the pain He knew would come, because He knew the end result. He created me for a reason.

He created me, and brought me to this earth, knowing that He would have to wait while I searched for Him once again. He would have to wait while I rejected Him. He would have to wait through my trials until I reached out for Him. He created me, knowing the joy that He could hardly wait to pour out on me once I finally found Him.

I walked through my home yesterday and it was as if happiness were a tangible, physical thing I could reach out and touch. It is a cloak that surrounds me and so often overwhelms me. I had no idea, life could feel this wonderful, I had no idea knowing Life (the King) could feel this wonderful. I'm so glad to be alive, and living. There's a difference between "alive" and "living" and I'm glad to be both. So many only have 'alive'.

So, being "alive", I celebrate it.

"Living", I celebrate it differently than most.

My celebration begins tonight with a birthday cake. At some point, probably when I moved out, I became too old for such things and so the birthday cakes ended. It wasn't a big deal, but most of the time birthdays seem like a normal day anyway and so my birthdays began going by without even me noticing it. So I made myself a birthday cake.

It gets stranger.

As things progressed so did my cake. And today, I'll make my birthday cake, take a piece to anyone I love that I can take it to, and then -here it is- I cut a huge slice and set it outside. I may have killed a few stray cats, I'm not sure how cats do with cake, or squirrels either for that matter. But it's Gods piece. And so it goes outside for God. If I were a bit more obsessive I'd build a fire in my backyard and burn it. But I'm not that obsessive yet. Yet is probably the key word.

God -I can't even type His name without feeling something stir within me- has made life worth living. And He can do the same for you.

Seek Him, passionately pursue Him with a complete disregard to outside opinions or ridicule. Seek Him in unorthodox ways, whether it's putting cake on your porch or climbing up on your roof to pray. It doesn't matter. You can find Him in easy ways, and easy places, or strange places. Seek Him with a childlike exuberance to find Him. Seek Him desperately knowing that you're lost entirely lost without Him. When Angel or David (my niece (9) and nephew (6)) start looking for me in the house, they know life -the ability to eat, drink, go places- depends on finding me.

Seek Him and when you think that you've already found Him, keep seeking to know Him. To know Him better, and better, deeper, purer. As He changes you, what you see in Him will change as well. The lessons He taught you 5 years ago, will have a different meaning as you grow and your understanding changes.

And it's just wonderful.

I'm so glad to be alive and living.

Happy Mybirthday.