Protecting God.

        I have tried very hard over the last many years to be a good daughter because I've got a lot to make up for. I'm the one that didn't go to college, my brother did. I'm the one still single, my brother's married with two kids. I've tried to make up for those "failures" by being around more to help since that's what the single daughter is supposed to be good for.

But shortly after my mom began going downhill and things really became difficult for my parents, God moved me to San Antonio. My mom is there. I am here. My mom wants me there. She does not understand at all why I am not there. Some of her family have pointed out that I should be there, and while that's difficult to face, nothing - and I mean nothing - compares to my mother crying and saying she thought I would take care of her and help her.

To others, as they question what I am going to do about the situation I can only point them to her caregiver. Because it isn't me. It should be me.

        But one thing I don't do is tell the questioners why it's not me. I don't tell them God moved me to San Antonio. I don't tell them about moving in with my parents for a month, then finally going back to San Antonio because I knew I was out of Gods will.

I don't tell them that because they might think God is wrong. And apparently I feel the need to protect Gods reputation. I believe that if people heard the story, they would blame God and say that's ridiculous. Or they may just say I don't know what I'm talking about. Or maybe they won't say anything at all, but they'll walk away thinking "Just someone else that doesn't want to do the right thing and is going to pin it on God." Either way, it still looks bad on God. I'll feel like a bad daughter either way it goes so it really doesn't matter which conclusion they come to about me.

But here is the reason that daughters aren't supposed to protect their Fathers. It's simple even. Father knows best. See? Just that simple.


I know God put me here.
Everything God does is to bring glory to Himself.
So the end result of me being where He brought me is going to bring Him glory.

At least it will, if I don't try and hide His involvement. All of my wonderful "protection" is holding back some of the glory that God could be getting as I bear witness to His leading and guidance in the situation.

        That said: God moved me to San Antonio knowing that I wouldn't be around to help my mother during the hardest time in her life. I feel sick about it, but I know God has a plan and it's for our good. More than I want to help her, I need to obey God. So here we are. I don't understand it any more than you do probably. But I believe God. I'm willing to risk my mothers life on it.

I'm laying it all on the line, it's all on God. I know what I know, I believe what I believe, and God is in charge. If that means I have to do something odd - then God can have the ridicule, I'll be a willing vessel. And my words will point to Him in good things and bad.

He can handle it.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus... but to trust and obey.