Faith, wavering. Faith? Receive nothing of the Lord? Faith, nothing wavering.

"Count it all joy," James wrote, "when you fall into diverse temptations. Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect, and entire, wanting nothing."

"If any of you lack wisdom," he adds, "let Him ask of God that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."
"For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord."

... I'm strangely reminded of (not surprising to know my mind is working in a strange way...) the movie "You're a good man Charlie Brown." Terrific movie if you haven't seen it. In one vital scene all the Peanuts gang is circled around Charlie Brown giving him the song of his life, "YOU COULD BE KING CHARLIE BROWN, YOU COULD BE KIINNNNGGG!" they bellow ever so loudly.

Then Lucy, good ol' Lucy, finishes if off with "If only you weren't so wishy-washy."

End scene.

Everyone knows someone wishy-washy. I'd hazard a guess that you yourself are wishy washy on certain things. I'm so wishy washy that I've spent the last two months of my life saying boldly "Gods going to do something amazing." almost immediately followed by the nail biting crazy-eyed statement "What is God doing?"

On the drive - the very l o n g drive to San Antonio following the Penske truck with all my possessions in it (except of course the possessions crammed in my trunk and backseat) I found myself quoting those verses from James to myself over and over again. At one point I was even yelling the primary one I was focused in on. "For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord."

What?

When is the last time you wrote a letter to someone and felt confident enough to say "If so-n-so does _______ I hope you make sure he knows he's not going to get his prayers answered."

Yeah, I didn't write a letter like that either. Probably never will. (Though, now I may have jinxed it.)

But it's one of the few places that I know of... ok, the only one that I know of but I'm only familiar with this one because I memorized the first chapter of James at one point - I'm sure there's more in the Bible if I look for it. But it's the only place that I know of where someone says "If you do this, God will not give you what you're asking for."

Sure there are tips on HOW to get what you're asking for... pure heart, Gods will, no brothers with ought against you, etc. but no other that tells me: "God WILL say no."

I find this very important. Because these have been the two crazy walk-away-from-everythingmost months and asking in "faith, nothing wavering" is difficult. Nothing wavering? Not even a little bit? Oh come on...

But I can't change what God said.

And, though I've asked, God didn't rewrite that portion of the Bible for me. Believe me, I checked.

Faith, nothing wavering.

Lord I have faith...
Help Thou my unbelief.

And you know what... as wishy-washy as that prayer sounds I believe you can let this girl think she'll receive something of the Lord. You'd be hard pressed to convince me otherwise.