I'm home alone this Thanksgiving, and sitting here so happy and blessed I can hardly contain myself. I realize how different life is when you know Christ. Today, I do not take my joy for granted. I know too many others have spent the day alone discouraged, and miserable, broken, and lonely.
But because of Christ I've spent this day alone less alone than I've ever been before.
I had a wonderful day. I'm so thankful that He loves me. Simple as that.
I hope your Thanksgiving was more special than ever before.
God bless.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Growing...
I don't know what someone else would get from this... but I just have to write this to document what God is doing in me.
Sunday, the instant the song service began at church I felt something big and exciting was about to happen. Every single song just drug you deeper and deeper in. It was powerful, and wonderful, and addictive. By the time it was over you simply wished it could go on forever.
Part way through though, God told me to do something. He's told me before, and the answer was always 'no'. He told me to go to the front to worship. To get out of my row, walk down the aisle to the front of the church and worship.
No God, anything but that. They'll think I'm just doing it to be seen, to be dramatic and all "look at me".
Go.
God, I just can't. Not that. You know what they'll think, I can't draw attention to myself. This isn't about me; it's suppose to be about You.
Go.
God, if You really want me to go, You're going to have to give me the strength to do it because I don't have it. I can't do it God, I just can't.
And then we began singing a song "Here in Your presence". I'll give you the words and a link to the video at the end of the post; but the words that really hit me were the words "Here in Your presence we are undone."
And by my refusal to do as He asked the contrast to my saying "we are undone" put lie to my words. I hated my refusal. I hated the things about me that held me back from anything that God would ask of me. I hated my weak self. And I begged God, even as I felt a quake of fear at how God might answer, I begged Him to actually "undo" me. To make me "undone" as I had just sung.
Get me there God, somehow.
And just as I had talked about before, it's the first step into the unknown that is the very hardest. My arms were raised and I took one step out into the aisle. And I literally don't remember how I got to the front. Once that first step was made I was there. And, I do want to add that once I got there not one thing else was more important to me than worshiping God.
I suppose I won't go into further detail except to say that the Spirit of God was wonderful in that place, and praise - hungry, holy praise went forth to Him. I'd have to say it was one of the best experiences in my life. One I hope to repeat only to greater extents and deeper depths as I continue living my life for Him.
God is freeing me. Bit by bit. Control by control. And I can't help but sometimes think how incredible it is to be the clay with potential that is only limited by the Hands that form me.
As promised, the words to the song followed by the video:
HERE IN YOUR PRESENCE
by New Life Worship (Desperation Band)
Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away
Here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display
Here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed
Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You
Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Sunday, the instant the song service began at church I felt something big and exciting was about to happen. Every single song just drug you deeper and deeper in. It was powerful, and wonderful, and addictive. By the time it was over you simply wished it could go on forever.
Part way through though, God told me to do something. He's told me before, and the answer was always 'no'. He told me to go to the front to worship. To get out of my row, walk down the aisle to the front of the church and worship.
No God, anything but that. They'll think I'm just doing it to be seen, to be dramatic and all "look at me".
Go.
God, I just can't. Not that. You know what they'll think, I can't draw attention to myself. This isn't about me; it's suppose to be about You.
Go.
God, if You really want me to go, You're going to have to give me the strength to do it because I don't have it. I can't do it God, I just can't.
And then we began singing a song "Here in Your presence". I'll give you the words and a link to the video at the end of the post; but the words that really hit me were the words "Here in Your presence we are undone."
And by my refusal to do as He asked the contrast to my saying "we are undone" put lie to my words. I hated my refusal. I hated the things about me that held me back from anything that God would ask of me. I hated my weak self. And I begged God, even as I felt a quake of fear at how God might answer, I begged Him to actually "undo" me. To make me "undone" as I had just sung.
Get me there God, somehow.
And just as I had talked about before, it's the first step into the unknown that is the very hardest. My arms were raised and I took one step out into the aisle. And I literally don't remember how I got to the front. Once that first step was made I was there. And, I do want to add that once I got there not one thing else was more important to me than worshiping God.
I suppose I won't go into further detail except to say that the Spirit of God was wonderful in that place, and praise - hungry, holy praise went forth to Him. I'd have to say it was one of the best experiences in my life. One I hope to repeat only to greater extents and deeper depths as I continue living my life for Him.
God is freeing me. Bit by bit. Control by control. And I can't help but sometimes think how incredible it is to be the clay with potential that is only limited by the Hands that form me.
As promised, the words to the song followed by the video:
HERE IN YOUR PRESENCE
by New Life Worship (Desperation Band)
Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away
Here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display
Here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed
Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You
Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The God of too much... again.
Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.
Just wanted to write a quick note... in a previous blog I mentioned the specific issue of gas money to get home for Thanksgiving. There was an amount in my head when I wrote that. That was written on Tuesday.
Today, Saturday, via a few different sources as has been the constant habit in the last 5 months, I have a little over double what I need. And that's not counting the one craigslist item that someone hasn't picked up yet. Yet I have a little over double. And it's also not counting the offers I received from blog readers and friends to pay my way for me.
God is incredible. I wouldn't have been upset to not make it home. This is going to be our first Thanksgiving that mom doesn't know who we are. Missing that wouldn't have bothered me a bit. So I suppose I might admit that I was smirking a little bit as I said I would leave it in Gods hands. I may have been hoping... but God knows best. And He provides exceedingly and abundantly. As I think about it now I have to smile as I think about how the post I had written about it talked about how God has given me too much. And here I say I need a certain amount and He gives me double. Again, too much.
He is the God of too much. There is abundance in my home today. Perhaps I'm the only one who can see it, appreciate it, revel and relax into it, but bountiful abundance it certainly is.
Now I'm just hoping Proverbs 28:25 doesn't come true!
Just wanted to write a quick note... in a previous blog I mentioned the specific issue of gas money to get home for Thanksgiving. There was an amount in my head when I wrote that. That was written on Tuesday.
Today, Saturday, via a few different sources as has been the constant habit in the last 5 months, I have a little over double what I need. And that's not counting the one craigslist item that someone hasn't picked up yet. Yet I have a little over double. And it's also not counting the offers I received from blog readers and friends to pay my way for me.
God is incredible. I wouldn't have been upset to not make it home. This is going to be our first Thanksgiving that mom doesn't know who we are. Missing that wouldn't have bothered me a bit. So I suppose I might admit that I was smirking a little bit as I said I would leave it in Gods hands. I may have been hoping... but God knows best. And He provides exceedingly and abundantly. As I think about it now I have to smile as I think about how the post I had written about it talked about how God has given me too much. And here I say I need a certain amount and He gives me double. Again, too much.
He is the God of too much. There is abundance in my home today. Perhaps I'm the only one who can see it, appreciate it, revel and relax into it, but bountiful abundance it certainly is.
Now I'm just hoping Proverbs 28:25 doesn't come true!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I walked into the middle of a discussion group on the book "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere the other night and ended up at a terrific table of ladies.
Part of the subject matter went to the moment (Luke 22:21-24) when Jesus tells his disciples that one of them would betray Him. They immediately begin saying "Who is it?"
Then, just one verse later they're fighting about who would be the greatest in Gods Kingdom.
The point was made that these two seemingly unrelated topics were probably strung together by one statement.
"Well, I obviously wouldn't be the one to betray Him."
When faced with the idea that someone in the room was going to do something utterly despicable , the conversation turns to how they would never do something that awful, which then leads to which one of them is better than all the rest.
In my own life, too often, I've seen a way to make a joke of something/someone; or I've seen a way to put down or, at the very least, doubt the validity of some ministries. I've struggled (and still struggle) with going to new churches without having that skepticism in my heart as to whether or not these people actually love God. As though that distinction is mine to make and it can be made in 2 hours time. I've judged people by groups. When I know I wouldn't want my passion for Christ to be judged by some of churches I've attended.
It's hard to get out of a judgmental mindset. Hard to keep from thinking along the lines of my preconceived notions and simply leave myself open.
Because ultimately, when I make myself the judge like that it's easy for me to be an exact replica of the disciples as they say "I wouldn't do that, matter of fact I might even be among the greatest of us all. I guess I've got this all down pat now."
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go remind myself that this post must be referring to the old me, for surely I'm too good for this kind of behavior now.
...Harumph... I wish
Part of the subject matter went to the moment (Luke 22:21-24) when Jesus tells his disciples that one of them would betray Him. They immediately begin saying "Who is it?"
Then, just one verse later they're fighting about who would be the greatest in Gods Kingdom.
The point was made that these two seemingly unrelated topics were probably strung together by one statement.
"Well, I obviously wouldn't be the one to betray Him."
When faced with the idea that someone in the room was going to do something utterly despicable , the conversation turns to how they would never do something that awful, which then leads to which one of them is better than all the rest.
In my own life, too often, I've seen a way to make a joke of something/someone; or I've seen a way to put down or, at the very least, doubt the validity of some ministries. I've struggled (and still struggle) with going to new churches without having that skepticism in my heart as to whether or not these people actually love God. As though that distinction is mine to make and it can be made in 2 hours time. I've judged people by groups. When I know I wouldn't want my passion for Christ to be judged by some of churches I've attended.
It's hard to get out of a judgmental mindset. Hard to keep from thinking along the lines of my preconceived notions and simply leave myself open.
Because ultimately, when I make myself the judge like that it's easy for me to be an exact replica of the disciples as they say "I wouldn't do that, matter of fact I might even be among the greatest of us all. I guess I've got this all down pat now."
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go remind myself that this post must be referring to the old me, for surely I'm too good for this kind of behavior now.
...Harumph... I wish
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Don't let the devil show you one tree, when God has planted you a forest.
The lyrics coming to mind right now are "Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side."
And while not everything has come together (I sincerely doubt that until I reach Heaven that I'll be able to conclusively say that "everything" has come together...) I just want to tell you what God has done.
When I left San Antonio at the end of September, I had been job hunting for nearly 4 months with no real success. The only luck I did have was one incredibly fun job that unfortunately netted me about 2-3 hours of pay per week. Needless to say, for some reason I felt that wasn't enough to live off of. Just before I left, I had finally been offered 2 jobs and had to turn them down. I also had two interviews lined up that I had to cancel (interviews were hard to come by as well, so even getting to that stage was progress).
When I submitted to God and said I would return to San Antonio after a month helping my mother I wondered if God had been in my return at all. It had felt like the right thing to do, and today, in hindsight, the month seemed just exactly what was needed. Dad needed a break from mom, and some physical help in doing some of the major renovations he'd begun on what will one day be their home, and here I was ready and able to crawl under the house and get dirty.
When I came back though, in my prayers was that God would bless what I'd done. That He would bless my letting go of San Antonio and doing what I felt was necessary. I suppose it's hard to understand but I didn't want a blessing just because I wanted things to be easier or because I was tired of job hunting or needed money. I truly wanted it just to know that Gods hand of blessing was on something that I had done.
I returned on Sunday night, and began job hunting Monday morning. I went through several interviews and tests with one company and was required to come back a second day for more interviews. On that second day I was hired. I didn't announce it on my blog because there were some negative issues concerning it but deep inside all I could think was "You've really blessed me Lord." 4 months of looking and searching, and He brings about His will in 2 days. I was distinctly impressed with the realization that what I have isn't because I've done something, but because God has. It's easy to neglect that idea.
The only issue was that, well, now it was November 3rd, and my new job wouldn't start till November 18th. I deliberated the idea of continuing the job search in hopes of finding something that would start sooner. But the reality of no money coming in combined with the fact that cars run on gas, equaled the knowledge that if I have no gas I could technically have no job as well if I can't transport myself back and forth until the pay begins. So I sat back, slightly nervously I must say, and waited for the 18th to arrive.
At nearly 7pm on the 17th I received a phone call from the company telling me not to come to work. They'd had a problem with my background and until it was resolved I couldn't come to work. The next training classes would begin in January.
I'd like to tell you that I began fasting and praying, or that I hit my knees and didn't get up from my righteous womans fervent praying until I felt the issue was resolved. But instead all I could feel was quiet. I told God, quite simply, that I could only do what I could do the best I could do it and the rest was up to Him. And then I wrote a blog post about how God had given me too much.
At 8am this morning I stood before the door of their building and asked that God would grant me favor with these people. Then I went in, announced myself, and said I was there to talk to Barbara in HR. I took a seat in the lobby filled with people that were preparing to start that morning. I sat quietly as the receptionist called them all back. I waited alone in the lobby 20 minutes for my audience with Ms. Barbara McCoy.
She was gracious, but very firm. My application was fraudulent, the company I said I worked for for 5 years did not know I existed. They would not hire me. I pointed out the error (they had called the wrong company - which was partially my fault because they had to look up the information because I'd written the wrong area code). I told her that I'd already talked to that employer this morning and that she should have already received an e-mail from them in the last 30 minutes.
She left me alone in the room again while she went to verify the e-mail and some other things that had not been done concerning me. She returned with a welcoming smile and said "Come with me." I suppose I have limited life experience, but I could only imagine those words sounding sweeter coming from my Savior as He welcomed me to Heaven. I have a job.
I've been in San Antonio 5 months without steady work. When I try and stop and figure out how on earth I've paid my bills, I don't have the faintest clue. I really don't. Yet every month I've been able to pull my share and even help others when they've needed it. He's given me too much.
As I studied the facts tonight and that the two tanks of gas required to drive back to my parents for Thanksgiving might be more than I can handle, I talked over the possibility of my not going back for the holiday with my family here. Minutes later I checked my e-mail and someone was interested in something I had on craigslist. There is one tank of gas. Will God provide the 2nd?
None of these things have happened with wild shouts and exclamations of joy but with a suddenly quiet spirit that is willing to just wait and see how it turns out. This has distinctly felt like one of those moments where I just had to hold my peace and let the Lord fight my battles. And He has. And it has been a perfect example of how I am victorious today. Rather than trying to pin it all on "Now the problems are solved it's going to change" it's simply; Today. Sufficient for the day is the trouble thereof - or something like that.
He's given me too much.
I feel like this part should be in a different, separate post so those who aren't interested in the minute details that this post is chock full of wouldn't have to wade through it all - but it fits here so for those that skipped this post because it was too long I'm sorry they missed this part.
At church tonight, the speaker made a point concerning the events of Adam and Eves original sin. If you read from a King James Bible it depicts how God came to Adam and Eve and said "You may eat of all the trees in the Garden. But do not eat of this tree."
The devil came along and said "Did not God say you could not eat of all the trees in the Garden?"
Gods focus in His wording was on all that He has given us. You may eat of ALL the trees - save one.
Whereas the devil twists the words to "You can not eat of all the trees" and taints everything with the one thing forbidden.
In explaining the concept to my niece this evening I gave her the example of when she and her brother were obsessed with heelies. No matter what you gave them, their hearts cry was for heelies and whatever you gave them it wasn't heelies. They couldn't see "all the trees" because the devil had limited their focus to "not ALL", the one thing they didn't have.
And I don't know how to hand you a peace like this except to tell you what God has done for me, and how wonderful it is, how peaceful it is, how precious it is to have my gaze now on "all the trees".
I'm sure my gaze will swing sometime. I'm human and stupid - a LOT. But despite the things that seem to be lacking right now, I can only keep thinking "He's given me too much." There is extra. There is more than enough. More than more than enough.
Don't let the devil show you one tree, when God has planted you a forest.
And while not everything has come together (I sincerely doubt that until I reach Heaven that I'll be able to conclusively say that "everything" has come together...) I just want to tell you what God has done.
When I left San Antonio at the end of September, I had been job hunting for nearly 4 months with no real success. The only luck I did have was one incredibly fun job that unfortunately netted me about 2-3 hours of pay per week. Needless to say, for some reason I felt that wasn't enough to live off of. Just before I left, I had finally been offered 2 jobs and had to turn them down. I also had two interviews lined up that I had to cancel (interviews were hard to come by as well, so even getting to that stage was progress).
When I submitted to God and said I would return to San Antonio after a month helping my mother I wondered if God had been in my return at all. It had felt like the right thing to do, and today, in hindsight, the month seemed just exactly what was needed. Dad needed a break from mom, and some physical help in doing some of the major renovations he'd begun on what will one day be their home, and here I was ready and able to crawl under the house and get dirty.
When I came back though, in my prayers was that God would bless what I'd done. That He would bless my letting go of San Antonio and doing what I felt was necessary. I suppose it's hard to understand but I didn't want a blessing just because I wanted things to be easier or because I was tired of job hunting or needed money. I truly wanted it just to know that Gods hand of blessing was on something that I had done.
I returned on Sunday night, and began job hunting Monday morning. I went through several interviews and tests with one company and was required to come back a second day for more interviews. On that second day I was hired. I didn't announce it on my blog because there were some negative issues concerning it but deep inside all I could think was "You've really blessed me Lord." 4 months of looking and searching, and He brings about His will in 2 days. I was distinctly impressed with the realization that what I have isn't because I've done something, but because God has. It's easy to neglect that idea.
The only issue was that, well, now it was November 3rd, and my new job wouldn't start till November 18th. I deliberated the idea of continuing the job search in hopes of finding something that would start sooner. But the reality of no money coming in combined with the fact that cars run on gas, equaled the knowledge that if I have no gas I could technically have no job as well if I can't transport myself back and forth until the pay begins. So I sat back, slightly nervously I must say, and waited for the 18th to arrive.
At nearly 7pm on the 17th I received a phone call from the company telling me not to come to work. They'd had a problem with my background and until it was resolved I couldn't come to work. The next training classes would begin in January.
I'd like to tell you that I began fasting and praying, or that I hit my knees and didn't get up from my righteous womans fervent praying until I felt the issue was resolved. But instead all I could feel was quiet. I told God, quite simply, that I could only do what I could do the best I could do it and the rest was up to Him. And then I wrote a blog post about how God had given me too much.
At 8am this morning I stood before the door of their building and asked that God would grant me favor with these people. Then I went in, announced myself, and said I was there to talk to Barbara in HR. I took a seat in the lobby filled with people that were preparing to start that morning. I sat quietly as the receptionist called them all back. I waited alone in the lobby 20 minutes for my audience with Ms. Barbara McCoy.
She was gracious, but very firm. My application was fraudulent, the company I said I worked for for 5 years did not know I existed. They would not hire me. I pointed out the error (they had called the wrong company - which was partially my fault because they had to look up the information because I'd written the wrong area code). I told her that I'd already talked to that employer this morning and that she should have already received an e-mail from them in the last 30 minutes.
She left me alone in the room again while she went to verify the e-mail and some other things that had not been done concerning me. She returned with a welcoming smile and said "Come with me." I suppose I have limited life experience, but I could only imagine those words sounding sweeter coming from my Savior as He welcomed me to Heaven. I have a job.
I've been in San Antonio 5 months without steady work. When I try and stop and figure out how on earth I've paid my bills, I don't have the faintest clue. I really don't. Yet every month I've been able to pull my share and even help others when they've needed it. He's given me too much.
As I studied the facts tonight and that the two tanks of gas required to drive back to my parents for Thanksgiving might be more than I can handle, I talked over the possibility of my not going back for the holiday with my family here. Minutes later I checked my e-mail and someone was interested in something I had on craigslist. There is one tank of gas. Will God provide the 2nd?
None of these things have happened with wild shouts and exclamations of joy but with a suddenly quiet spirit that is willing to just wait and see how it turns out. This has distinctly felt like one of those moments where I just had to hold my peace and let the Lord fight my battles. And He has. And it has been a perfect example of how I am victorious today. Rather than trying to pin it all on "Now the problems are solved it's going to change" it's simply; Today. Sufficient for the day is the trouble thereof - or something like that.
He's given me too much.
I feel like this part should be in a different, separate post so those who aren't interested in the minute details that this post is chock full of wouldn't have to wade through it all - but it fits here so for those that skipped this post because it was too long I'm sorry they missed this part.
At church tonight, the speaker made a point concerning the events of Adam and Eves original sin. If you read from a King James Bible it depicts how God came to Adam and Eve and said "You may eat of all the trees in the Garden. But do not eat of this tree."
The devil came along and said "Did not God say you could not eat of all the trees in the Garden?"
Gods focus in His wording was on all that He has given us. You may eat of ALL the trees - save one.
Whereas the devil twists the words to "You can not eat of all the trees" and taints everything with the one thing forbidden.
In explaining the concept to my niece this evening I gave her the example of when she and her brother were obsessed with heelies. No matter what you gave them, their hearts cry was for heelies and whatever you gave them it wasn't heelies. They couldn't see "all the trees" because the devil had limited their focus to "not ALL", the one thing they didn't have.
And I don't know how to hand you a peace like this except to tell you what God has done for me, and how wonderful it is, how peaceful it is, how precious it is to have my gaze now on "all the trees".
I'm sure my gaze will swing sometime. I'm human and stupid - a LOT. But despite the things that seem to be lacking right now, I can only keep thinking "He's given me too much." There is extra. There is more than enough. More than more than enough.
Don't let the devil show you one tree, when God has planted you a forest.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Too much.
There is a post over at Jon Acuffs' blog "Stuff Christians Like" that I've been reading over and over again called "Two Words".
It's a great post stemming from a comment his daughter made about what might happen after some publishing company bought her daddys book. She announced that if they made too much money they could give it to Vietnam. (He is currently working with his readers to build a 2nd kindergarten over there right now too - click here to give).
In part of this post he said this: "I love that. I love that as a six year old she still believes in the concept of “too much” money. Those words are so foreign to me as an adult. There’s no such thing as “too much” money. That’s crazy talk. Have you ever heard someone at work say, “Yeah, my wife and I realized we have too much money so we’re trying to figure out how to do something with it before it does something with us."
I read that post and I thought about how crazy my focus is sometimes. I'll be the first to tell you what I don't have, what I lack, how I'm not enough. But God has abundantly blessed me with too much. I just don't focus on it, utilize it, or appreciate it.
He's given me too much. He's given me so much that I have enough to give to others.
It's just too easy for me to only see in terms of money and possessions. Or worse yet, to use that money only to acquire those things that I deem to make my life "enough". That attitude only leaves me feeling unsatisfied and frustrated.
But when I really sit back and see what He's done, what He's given me, how He has blessed me, I can only see, with joy overflowing, that I've got too much. How can I give it away.
For me, part of it lately has been to pour it into this blog. I am encouraged, I am blessed, I am hopeful, and it's all during some pretty scary times. So whatever your scary time, whatever you're facing where you're tempted to believe whatever it is isn't "enough", let me give you some of my peace. He's given me too much.
Let me give you some of my hope. He's given me too much.
Let me give you some of my joy. He's given me too much.
Let me tell you what God has done. He's done too much.
It's a great post stemming from a comment his daughter made about what might happen after some publishing company bought her daddys book. She announced that if they made too much money they could give it to Vietnam. (He is currently working with his readers to build a 2nd kindergarten over there right now too - click here to give).
In part of this post he said this: "I love that. I love that as a six year old she still believes in the concept of “too much” money. Those words are so foreign to me as an adult. There’s no such thing as “too much” money. That’s crazy talk. Have you ever heard someone at work say, “Yeah, my wife and I realized we have too much money so we’re trying to figure out how to do something with it before it does something with us."
I read that post and I thought about how crazy my focus is sometimes. I'll be the first to tell you what I don't have, what I lack, how I'm not enough. But God has abundantly blessed me with too much. I just don't focus on it, utilize it, or appreciate it.
He's given me too much. He's given me so much that I have enough to give to others.
It's just too easy for me to only see in terms of money and possessions. Or worse yet, to use that money only to acquire those things that I deem to make my life "enough". That attitude only leaves me feeling unsatisfied and frustrated.
But when I really sit back and see what He's done, what He's given me, how He has blessed me, I can only see, with joy overflowing, that I've got too much. How can I give it away.
For me, part of it lately has been to pour it into this blog. I am encouraged, I am blessed, I am hopeful, and it's all during some pretty scary times. So whatever your scary time, whatever you're facing where you're tempted to believe whatever it is isn't "enough", let me give you some of my peace. He's given me too much.
Let me give you some of my hope. He's given me too much.
Let me give you some of my joy. He's given me too much.
Let me tell you what God has done. He's done too much.
Monday, November 16, 2009
I want to be ignorant.
At Anti-Itch Meditation Jeff Weddles wrote a terrific post concerning "Distinctive Ignorance".
It's short, so it won't take but just a bit to read, and you'll have something interesting to chew on all day long. But here are just two small portions of it that give you a huge idea of what he's talking about and I wanted to comment on.
I want to be ignorant of my goodness. I want to be absolutely oblivious to it because I'm so wrapped up in Gods goodness.
I'm a terrific legalist if I don't stop myself. I was raised in it and still get lectures on it today. And the unfortunate part of that is that it leaves you dwelling on your own goodness, your own rigid hold to right and holy so that you will measure up. And it's hair-pulling hard to let go of those ideas and that constant survey of yourself to make sure you "measure up".
When in reality I don't measure up at all. If God ever decided to hold up my works and my abilities to determine my eternal fate I would be hopelessly and laughably short of the mark. That is the brunt of the idea behind grace. I'm still an idiot sometimes, but thank God He's no longer measuring ME and what I've done when He looks in His Lambs Book of Life.
Instead He sees some idiot 28 yr old that imperfectly loved God and others and though she failed a thousand times over, she tried to do Gods will, and had asked for the blood of Christ to cover her life. And then He sees the blood.
And that will be enough.
Thank God.
It's short, so it won't take but just a bit to read, and you'll have something interesting to chew on all day long. But here are just two small portions of it that give you a huge idea of what he's talking about and I wanted to comment on.
Malachi is a book that gets little attention and that’s too bad. if there is any book that is highly relevant to modern American churchianity, this is it.
He points out all their faults and their response, over and over again, is “What? How have we done that?” To every charge they respond, “How have we done that?”
~~~
He contrasts the difference between the wicked who are ignorant of their sins from the righteous who are ignorant of their goodness.Contrast that with Jesus’ words in Matthew 25. When I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink. Here’s the response of the righteous:
“Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?”
I want to be ignorant of my goodness. I want to be absolutely oblivious to it because I'm so wrapped up in Gods goodness.
I'm a terrific legalist if I don't stop myself. I was raised in it and still get lectures on it today. And the unfortunate part of that is that it leaves you dwelling on your own goodness, your own rigid hold to right and holy so that you will measure up. And it's hair-pulling hard to let go of those ideas and that constant survey of yourself to make sure you "measure up".
When in reality I don't measure up at all. If God ever decided to hold up my works and my abilities to determine my eternal fate I would be hopelessly and laughably short of the mark. That is the brunt of the idea behind grace. I'm still an idiot sometimes, but thank God He's no longer measuring ME and what I've done when He looks in His Lambs Book of Life.
Instead He sees some idiot 28 yr old that imperfectly loved God and others and though she failed a thousand times over, she tried to do Gods will, and had asked for the blood of Christ to cover her life. And then He sees the blood.
And that will be enough.
Thank God.
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