I've been considering something brought on, in part, by Veterans Day. It was a thought regarding our military men and women "giving their life away". They go where the government tells them to go, they train in whatever fashion the government chooses to tell them they must train, then they are required to do whatever the government tells them to do. If the government says sit here for 5 hours in the freezing cold and watch this building, sure 'nuff somebody's gonna catch a cold. No if, and's or but's. You do as your told. And you might die. There's no guarantees.
And I began thinking about how very much I want to give my life to God. Please Lord, send me, tell me, teach me, make me do whatever. I am fearful sometimes with having been to India recently, returning to India next month, and my further searches into Indonesia and living in other countries that I am following my own will more than God's. Not that I have a great desire to live in those countries, especially with small children(!) but I am desperate to win a soul for Christ. To do something for Him. And the idea of living in suburbia, sending my kids to a good Christian school and working 8-5 is incredibly frightening to me. We're rewarded according to our works. I've always wanted to be an over-achiever and right now it feels like I'm in the bottom of the class. My prayer for the last few years has been pretty constant, "Make ME a blessing to YOU Lord".
I'm praying for leading. I'm praying for open doors and a heart that is bold to witness. I'm praying to be a good mother. I'm praying to be entrusted with more children that NEED a home. I'm praying that God will help me raise up my girls as servants. I pray God will burn away more of myself so that a true servants heart remains. God help us. God help those who haven't heard the gospel and surrendered. God help those who claim to know the Gospel yet deny the Jesus clearly shown in the Bible and build their own false Christ who accepts and tolerates sin. God help those who simply walk away because they see a lukewarm church of mediocrity. God help us. And send a fire of revival in our hearts. And let it begin in me.