Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I did a funny thing today...

I quit my job.

I know. I'm not laughing either. I've got to figure out another punch line to this story.

There were 2 major reasons to do it, and 1 reason that made me want to do it, and then over the last few days I'd been thinking about it more and more and more and more and then Sunday night BAM, God couldn't have made it much clearer. Well, He could have, and I'd sure have appreciated the writing on the wall - but, it was still clear enough.

I, being the logical, sane person that I am, diligently said "I will pray about this for a week, and talk to Godly people about it." And right up until this morning when I finally said "Yes", I've been struggling with the feeling that I'm in disobedience. He said DO IT, and He didn't mean later, He meant now. Like, right now right now.

I'm still there... I just turned in two week notice. I'm pretty sure my bosses have never before seen a resignation letter that begins "God told me to quit my job" and ends with quoting Jeremiah 17:5-8.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to do my best to do whatever it is God wants me to do. I'm trusting. Sometimes my throat gets a little tight while I'm trusting, but I'm trusting. I've realized today that I just put everything on the altar. My bills, my home, my stuff, my Precious. And I'm wondering at the end of this what stuff I'll get to  pick back up and walk off the mountain with. All of it may need to be burned away. Some of it may just need to be refined. Or perhaps, the whole point to walking to the mountain and putting it on the altar was just so God could see that I'd do it.

I wonder if Abrahams throat was tight too.

I write this mostly for myself, these are days that I think I'm going to want to remember later on in life. But for someone else reading this - I'm keeping this off facebook for the time being. I want to journal this, but I also need to leave the folks at the bottom of the mountain and go up alone.


Katy said...

Freeing and scary at the same time, I'd imagine—freeing obedience, but logical fright. May God, as our Father, continue to guide you every step of the way and provide for all that you need, not just financially, but in every way.

flyawaynet said...

Thans Katy - I'm working on the fear. I see it and immediately try and push the thoughts away. I don't figure God gets a lot of glory if I do this shaking and worrying the whole time. And, from peoples responses around me I felt a strong responsbility that if I say I'm doing this out of trust in God - I better trust in God. Having to rein in my thoughts for others sakes has really helped me myself. I'm a lot stronger about this than when I handed in that notice.

Anonymous said...

I know that God has something great in store for you for your obedience and trust in Him. Keep walking in faith. God will never leave you or forsake you. I know that I am not telling you something that you don't already know. I just want to be here to help encourage you. You are in my prayers just as much as my kids and my husband. Love ya!