Saturday, February 02, 2013

Except for the grace of God: I am her.

Today I Skyped with New Kid. She's sitting in her high chair, sitting straight up flexing her new muscles, and as I watched her grin and smile and bang her fork on her tray her foster mother told me something that rocked my little world.

"The caseworker says the bio mom is in jail right now - and she's said she's 4 months pregnant."

Am I going to have 3 children? 4 children? When will this woman stop having children?

She's addicted to drugs, trying to fill some ache inside her and calm a need that drugs can't fix.
She's addicted to having babies (6 kids born and possibly 1 more on the way), trying to fill some ache inside her to calm a need that babies can't fix.

Only God can help.
Only God.

Amongst the deep pain for her search, I realized today that too often we only notice the people who are obviously self exploding.We miss the ones that implode, silently, massively. This bio mom may not be hurting more than your kids 2nd grade teacher, more than my daycare workers, more than you. She just handles it differently.

When you hit those moments, do you turn to God? Or do you grab a tin of ice cream, spend big bucks on something unnecessary, quit your job? What do you do?

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