Sunday, July 31, 2011
I passed.
So I listened to a sermon called "Examine yourselves" slightly nervously as he told me right from the beginning of the message that he was going to go through 1st John and give us a "Are you saved" test based on 1st John.
And even though I know I'm saved, I couldn't stop myself from thinking, man.. I hope I pass.
Is this man of God going to point out something from the scriptures that condemns me? Is the Word of God itself going to tell me something I thought I was doing and wasn't? Is it going to shine a bright light on some nasty sin in my heart I didn't realize was there?
So we went verse by verse through 1st John.
And, while he mentioned some things that challenged me to dig deeper and grow stronger in my own knowledge of the Word of God and in my willingness to look foolish for the Gospel message, I reached the end of the message with great joy.
I passed the test.
It seems silly to say it, or possibly arrogant even (and I certainly don't mean it to sound that way) but it did give strength, confidence that while I'm not perfect, and have loads of growing to do - I'm saved. The scriptures, the words of God Himself confirm this in my heart and I'm....almost surprised.
I suffer from a severe case of "not good enough". If you hand me a measuring bar I'll break my neck trying to measure up. If I reach it easily, I assume you didn't make the stick right. And yet here I was taking a test of the heart. My stick wasn't going to be man-made necessarily (though Paul Washer is human and could fail if he'd misapplied the scriptures) but it was going to be a bar of which it is said: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.(Hebrews 4:12)
I. Fail. So. Much.
I'm so ... profoundly inadequate. I see it. I know it.
Yet when I listened to 1st John describe the heart of one saved, I was not discouraged.
When I heard Paul Washer speak about the heart of one saved, I was not frustrated.
When I read 1st John for myself tonight to make sure Paul Washer was right, I was amazed.
I began the sermon expecting to find condemnation, and didn't find it. And the first thing I read when I read the book for myself tonight was that this book was not written to condemn the sinner.
He begins the book "These things we write to you that your joy may be full."
He ends the book " These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God."
I've listened to him (Paul Washer) preach so much about how my mind will lie to me, and my heart is deceitful above all things. Those words created a wonder in me about my salvation, it made me ... I suppose as his sermon was titled "Examine Myself". My heart tells me I'm saved, my mind tells me I'm saved - but those things lie. But the Word of God will not lie.
I passed.
I hope you pass too.
Monday, January 03, 2011
Quote - Horatius Bonar
"To be entitled to use anothers' name, when my own name is worthless; to be allowed to wear anothers raiment, because my own is torn and filthy; to appear before God in anothers person - the person of the Beloved Son, - this is the summit of all blessing.
The sin-bearer and I have exchanged names, robs and persons! I am no represented by Him, my own personality having disappeared; He now appears in the presence of God for me. All that makes Him precious and dear to the Father has been transferred to me.
His excellency and glory are seen as if they were mine; and I receive the love, and the fellowship, and the glory, as if I had earned them all. So entirely one am I with the sin-bearer, that God treats me not merely as if I had not done the evil that I have done; but as if I had done all the good which I have not done, but which my substitute has done.
In one sense I am still the poor sinner, once under wrath; in another I am altogether righteous, and shall be so for ever, because of the Perfect One, in whose perfection I appear before God. Nor is this a false pretense or a hollow fiction, which carries no results or blessings with it.
It is an exchange which has been provided by the Judge, and sanctioned by law; an exchange of which any sinner upon earth may avail himself and be blest."
- Horatius Bonar, "The Everlasting Righteousness: or, How shall a Man be Just with God?" (Carlisle, Pa : Banner of Truth 1874/1993) 44-45
(Completely stole this post form Tolle Lege because it's outstanding. :)
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Blog Walking - 4
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The Little Engine that Could, The Good Samaritan, And The Inborn Law Of Love - Gunner @ Raw Christianity
Go Again - Christie @ Satisfaction Through Christ
We Are Where We Are For a Reason - Jana @ The Meanest Mom
When Cleanliness Thwarts Godliness - Dan Edelen @ Cerulean Sanctum
Of Glenn Beck and Beards - Rob Bowman @ Parchment and Pen
Monday, September 27, 2010
Blog Walking 3
Kids are getting settled in, I've practiced my frequency words with TC like a good little mother, and had small little precious strapped to my hip all evening long as she recovered from her very first day of daycare. I got firm with an outburst and it went away. I feel peaceful. Tired, concerned about "getting it right", but peaceful.
And now, after that little new "kids are here" sentiment, let me share the great blog posts I've found this week!
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The Slavery of False Liberty - by Jeff Weddle @ Anti-Itch Meditation. - “Our willingness to suffer for the sake of the perception of freedom is remarkable.”
The Lords Army Episode 3 - Jeff Weddle @ Anti-Itch Meditation - Short little cartoons with a spiritual hit on Christianity at it's weakest.
Walking in the Light (Without a Spotlight on Them) - Terry Laudett @ A disciples thoughts. -He's in Oklahoma... I'd love to attend his services one day if things like this go on. It honestly makes me want to hug one of them then go eat at their house. I've never seen a church actually operate like this. I want it.
Can You Help Raise The Dead? - Royce @ Grace Digest (But I found it on Miltons blog Transforming Sermons)"What is your church doing in the community, or around the world, that could not be done just as well by a good civic club made up of non-Christians?
A near life experience - John Acuff @ Stuff Christians Like.... sooooo it seems like I'm going to refer you to his serious Wednesday post every single week. I'm telling you, they're good. :)
He Rejoices Over Us - Josh Etter @ Of First Importance - just a quick good quote.
What is a Man? - Terry Laudett @ A Disciples Thoughts - AMEN! I've wanted to write that post for a very long time but, ehem... being a female it kind of makes it a bit less powerful, plus I wouldn't have written it as clearly as he did. Please go read this one. As an unmarried female, let me tell you I'm still single because there aren't many "men" around. And I've watched too many other women married to guys that are not men. Go read it.
Pauls Prayer in Ephesians 1:15-23 - Gunner @ Raw Christianity - He takes a verse of scripture, turns it into Q & A, and leaves me loving Pauls epistles far more than I did before. He's done another one since then, and his posts are usually good (sometimes a bit too Masters in Theology for me to keep up, but good).
God is gracious.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Blog Walking 2
So, as the week has progressed I've found some fantastic articles online and it's time to share them again. Enjoy this little stroll through the blogosphere with me. :)
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"Power in the Blood" by Jeff Weddle @ Anti-Itch Meditation - Great article that speaks of how the blood does more than save you.
"Two lessons for the Christian to learn" by Fred Eaton @ Of First Importance - It's a two sentence short quote that you'll agree with but may not have thought of yourself.
"God doesn't need me" @ At the Center - Great article! "I suddenly realized that He didn't need me. I was devastated. I almost had to pull over, the feeling was so strong. But as I continued, I felt His arms around me. No, He didn't need me, but He wanted me." Go read the whole thing.
Kind-Of Confessions by Gunner @ Raw Christianity It's something I've been thinking for awhile but he put it far more clearly. "We do everything we can to avoid full, complete, unmistakable admission of our guilt. "But when confession is made while staring straight into the holiness of God and retreating to the cross in anticipation of free grace, abundant mercy, and full forgiveness, we find the honesty and the humility to confess freely, fully, and even embarrassingly."
"Valiant For Truth" by Ray Ortlund @ Christ is Deeper Still Outstanding quote by Spurgeon. Go read it.
"When Being Discerning isn't Part 1" by Dan Edelen @ Cerulean Sanctum - I thought he made some great points in this article about how Christians sometimes take the idea of fleeing from sin too far.
"Church Visit#3" by Bob @ In the Clearing - It's a series I've been following that's been so interesting. First he, being disillusioned with church (much like me) he quit attending. He's slowly visiting some churches and reporting on what he finds.
"Honesty, Prayer, Healing" by Ray Ortlund @ Christ is Deeper Still. 2 church orders from 1738. The real church.
"What did Job fear"? @ At The Center - It wasn't boils."7 Ways Working For Dave Ramsey Is Like Willy Wonkas Chocolate Factory" by Jon Acuff @... Jon linked to the article on his Stuff Christians Like blog, but the article originally appeared on Dave Ramseys website. I enjoy Dave Ramsey, but wasn't aware of all the things Ramsey did. It was very interesting - it's great to read about a guy working at a great job and loving it.
And last but not least:
"Walking by Faith" by Jeff @ Anti-Itch Meditation - EVERYONE should understand this concept. "Walking by faith does not mean that Jesus makes all temptation go away." Go read the whole article.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Blog Walking!
(A small tip, if you hold down the Ctrl key when you click a link, it will open it in another browser so you won't lose this page by opening the article.)
From Tolle Lege a great article called "The Gospel is for Christians too" by Carl Trueman -Good GOOD words.
From Stuff Christians Like - "Wondering why God makes life impossible sometimes." - If you don't care for the comedic writings on his site, I highly recommend at least hitting his blog on Wednesdays when he writes a serious post. Amazing stuff.
From A Disciples Thoughts - "The Power of Respect" Read his story, it brings me peace just knowing people like that still exist.
From Todds Thoughts - "Nicodemus and the Samaritan Woman" Won't take 2 seconds for you to read this and get hit in the gut.
From Solid Rock of Sinking Sand - "Is Glenn Beck being used by God?" Interesting article displaying his Mormonism faith and asking the question "Is he saved?"
From The Gospel-Driven Church "C.S. Lewis Gospel Wakefulness" LOVED this.
And if you're in the mood for something funny and enjoyable to read, try this post from C Jane Enjoy It: "Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the car...Chup's account of getting arrested"
And last but not least a sermon by Matt Chandler called Destiny. The main thing I want to share is from minute 19:35 to 24:50. If you've struggled with the love of God like I have I hope the few minutes of this sermon brings that celebration that it brought me. When he screams "HE'S WALKING!" if you're not crying I'd be surprised. *Clicking the link opens up the sermon in media player, no downloading necessary*
Friday, September 10, 2010
Free Book offer
Go to his blog for the e-mail address, and just tell him where to send it.
Offer is good until 8am Monday Sept 13th (or until he runs out).
Monday, August 30, 2010
A masterpiece of scraps
They did not appear to have any special musical abilities, but the collection of them sang “unto the Lord” as their Leader put it. They sang words like “I’m not who I was…”, and “Oh no, You never let go, You never let go of me.” 3 of them had the opportunity to tell their specific testimonies. Most were typically tales of bad crowds, starting on drugs and alcohol at an obscenely young age (age 6 for one). But for the most part, looking at the group collectively, I saw in them a piece of myself. They each had the story of reaching the end of the rope and just begging God to help them because they could not help themselves at all. They had tried to help themselves, and they knew now it was impossible. Christ was their only hope.
And yet here they stood, 4 months, 9 months, 13 months later testifying of Gods greatness, His goodness and His mercy towards them. They testified to a love of such a nature that they had never imagined it before. I was moved as they closed the service singing “Here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down, Here I am to say that You’re my God.” And I felt it. That’s why they were here. To worship. To say that He’s their God.
A
nd to make money so they can keep doing what they’re doing.At the end of the service, instead of just taking up an offering for the young men and Teen Challenge, they invited us to purchase one of their handcrafted items they made in their own woodshop. Then they told us something that drove the point home.
Their local houses maintain 51 young men and they have a womens home as well. For stewardship reasons they seek donations for their supplies as much as possible. So instead of purchasing wood for their woodshop they have been blessed with a local merchant willing to donate wood. A cabinet maker here in San Antonio supplies them with, not whole wood, but scrap wood. Wood the cabinet maker might have thrown out, instead is used by these men to make things that were truly beautiful. And as I looked at the table full of wood scraps turned beautiful, I then looked up into the face of a young scrap that God had turned beautiful as well. He’d quoted the full chapter of Romans 12 to us before he ended his testimony.
I know what God can do with scraps. I know what it is to turn to God with a broken life and a broken heart and wonder if He could possibly want something so ugly and insignificant. Only to find that He can do more with scraps than a master cabinet maker can with whole storehouse of perfect wood.
I’m not who I wanna be, I’m not who I’m gonna be, but thank God I’m not who I was.
If you'd like to support Teen Challenge by buying some of their products as well here is a link to the Teen Challenge Store
Saturday, April 03, 2010
His great-grandma was rich.
(HT to Ray Ortlund)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Link to Parable of the Race
But inside his post on Once Saved Always Saved is a great story called "Parable of the Race". I'd highly recommend reading the whole post, but the parable is outstanding.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Post Link - The Measure of a Godly Man
As I read "The Measure of a Godly Man" this morning though I couldn't find one reason why his meaningful definitions couldn't apply to myself and I wanted to share it with you.
Here's the top snippet, but click here for the full article.
"Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness" (Titus 2:2, English Standard Version).
For many years, I ignored this verse. After all, I was not an older man. It simply did not apply to me. Then, a rather obvious thought occurred to me: I'm getting older every day. I need to get ready. God wants to see these qualities developing within me.
God wants me to be sober-minded. He wants me to see my life, my circumstances, and my opportunities clearly. He wants me to have the humility to know my weaknesses and the honesty to know my strengths.
Again, CLICK HERE for the rest of the article as he goes through the rest of the words and defines them.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Growing...
Sunday, the instant the song service began at church I felt something big and exciting was about to happen. Every single song just drug you deeper and deeper in. It was powerful, and wonderful, and addictive. By the time it was over you simply wished it could go on forever.
Part way through though, God told me to do something. He's told me before, and the answer was always 'no'. He told me to go to the front to worship. To get out of my row, walk down the aisle to the front of the church and worship.
No God, anything but that. They'll think I'm just doing it to be seen, to be dramatic and all "look at me".
Go.
God, I just can't. Not that. You know what they'll think, I can't draw attention to myself. This isn't about me; it's suppose to be about You.
Go.
God, if You really want me to go, You're going to have to give me the strength to do it because I don't have it. I can't do it God, I just can't.
And then we began singing a song "Here in Your presence". I'll give you the words and a link to the video at the end of the post; but the words that really hit me were the words "Here in Your presence we are undone."
And by my refusal to do as He asked the contrast to my saying "we are undone" put lie to my words. I hated my refusal. I hated the things about me that held me back from anything that God would ask of me. I hated my weak self. And I begged God, even as I felt a quake of fear at how God might answer, I begged Him to actually "undo" me. To make me "undone" as I had just sung.
Get me there God, somehow.
And just as I had talked about before, it's the first step into the unknown that is the very hardest. My arms were raised and I took one step out into the aisle. And I literally don't remember how I got to the front. Once that first step was made I was there. And, I do want to add that once I got there not one thing else was more important to me than worshiping God.
I suppose I won't go into further detail except to say that the Spirit of God was wonderful in that place, and praise - hungry, holy praise went forth to Him. I'd have to say it was one of the best experiences in my life. One I hope to repeat only to greater extents and deeper depths as I continue living my life for Him.
God is freeing me. Bit by bit. Control by control. And I can't help but sometimes think how incredible it is to be the clay with potential that is only limited by the Hands that form me.
As promised, the words to the song followed by the video:
HERE IN YOUR PRESENCE
by New Life Worship (Desperation Band)
Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away
Here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display
Here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed
Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You
Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Too much.
It's a great post stemming from a comment his daughter made about what might happen after some publishing company bought her daddys book. She announced that if they made too much money they could give it to Vietnam. (He is currently working with his readers to build a 2nd kindergarten over there right now too - click here to give).
In part of this post he said this: "I love that. I love that as a six year old she still believes in the concept of “too much” money. Those words are so foreign to me as an adult. There’s no such thing as “too much” money. That’s crazy talk. Have you ever heard someone at work say, “Yeah, my wife and I realized we have too much money so we’re trying to figure out how to do something with it before it does something with us."
I read that post and I thought about how crazy my focus is sometimes. I'll be the first to tell you what I don't have, what I lack, how I'm not enough. But God has abundantly blessed me with too much. I just don't focus on it, utilize it, or appreciate it.
He's given me too much. He's given me so much that I have enough to give to others.
It's just too easy for me to only see in terms of money and possessions. Or worse yet, to use that money only to acquire those things that I deem to make my life "enough". That attitude only leaves me feeling unsatisfied and frustrated.
But when I really sit back and see what He's done, what He's given me, how He has blessed me, I can only see, with joy overflowing, that I've got too much. How can I give it away.
For me, part of it lately has been to pour it into this blog. I am encouraged, I am blessed, I am hopeful, and it's all during some pretty scary times. So whatever your scary time, whatever you're facing where you're tempted to believe whatever it is isn't "enough", let me give you some of my peace. He's given me too much.
Let me give you some of my hope. He's given me too much.
Let me give you some of my joy. He's given me too much.
Let me tell you what God has done. He's done too much.
Monday, November 16, 2009
I want to be ignorant.
It's short, so it won't take but just a bit to read, and you'll have something interesting to chew on all day long. But here are just two small portions of it that give you a huge idea of what he's talking about and I wanted to comment on.
Malachi is a book that gets little attention and that’s too bad. if there is any book that is highly relevant to modern American churchianity, this is it.
He points out all their faults and their response, over and over again, is “What? How have we done that?” To every charge they respond, “How have we done that?”
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He contrasts the difference between the wicked who are ignorant of their sins from the righteous who are ignorant of their goodness.Contrast that with Jesus’ words in Matthew 25. When I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink. Here’s the response of the righteous:
“Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?”
I want to be ignorant of my goodness. I want to be absolutely oblivious to it because I'm so wrapped up in Gods goodness.
I'm a terrific legalist if I don't stop myself. I was raised in it and still get lectures on it today. And the unfortunate part of that is that it leaves you dwelling on your own goodness, your own rigid hold to right and holy so that you will measure up. And it's hair-pulling hard to let go of those ideas and that constant survey of yourself to make sure you "measure up".
When in reality I don't measure up at all. If God ever decided to hold up my works and my abilities to determine my eternal fate I would be hopelessly and laughably short of the mark. That is the brunt of the idea behind grace. I'm still an idiot sometimes, but thank God He's no longer measuring ME and what I've done when He looks in His Lambs Book of Life.
Instead He sees some idiot 28 yr old that imperfectly loved God and others and though she failed a thousand times over, she tried to do Gods will, and had asked for the blood of Christ to cover her life. And then He sees the blood.
And that will be enough.
Thank God.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The God of the Desperate
It's short but hits home quickly. Here's a quote from it, but I encourage you to go read the whole thing. Won't take but a minute.
But if you are in distress, if you are in debt, if you are bitter in soul, there is a mighty Captain who is not ashamed to have you in his army. He turns no one away,
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Pray Believing.
Today was mostly good until this evening when mom decided to leave him. She calls me up asking to move in with me. The medication is stopped (though despite my last post it was stopped the very night of that post rather than decreased. A special thank you to my home health worker nurse friend who confirmed the next evening that the decision was a good one.
Thanks Ms. L.
Tonight though, after an hour of conversation mom was willing to stay with him until I get there. We're all, (and trust me when I say I know how bad this sounds), hoping she just gets through this particular spell and forgets she's waiting on me. Instructions though involved a sign that says "I need to stay here until Net comes."
Dad was having a hard day too. He was trying to "prove" he was her husband and that he'd never left her. The alzheimers counselor says logic doesn't work and she's 100% right. Just makes her angry. It wasn't amusing, but my mom was rude to my dad tonight. "Would you PLEASE get off the phone so I can talk to my daughter." It's awful, it's stupid, but if you knew my mother and how she is never rude, you would have been amused too.
All that isn't about them. It's about joy. Weariness, and joy all mixed into one. I trust God in this, and He is seeing me through with comfort, but tonight He's also brought a touch of joy. Peace despite circumstances.
It's life. Life with all it's bad, nasty, jerky, stupid, disease-ridden rottenness.
And God is good. He's goodness wrapped up inside all the bad, nasty, jerky, stupid, disease-ridden rottenness.
And I love Him. I trust Him to get us through the next months. I trust Him to help us all make wise decisions. I trust Him with her life. With all of ours.
You can trust Him with yours too.
Have peace, let that knot in your stomach go. Breathe. What is the worst that can happen? Bad stuff, painful stuff, but nothing that eternity won't cure. So a bad few years? So an unhappy marriage? So your kids are getting in trouble? So you can't find a job? So you can't pay your bills?
Stressful I know. Hurts, I know, but you can trust in God.
Pray like all get out. Pray till you make no human sense because your agonized heart cannot help but cry out to the one who can help - but pray believing.
That phrase has always intrigued me. "Pray believing" It's only right this second that I realized a second meaning behind those words. It's not only that you pray believing for the answer you're seeking, but that you're believing - believing in God and His goodness, who He is, who He's promised to be, who you need Him to be.
Pray believing. Trust His goodness. He's good. GOOD. No matter what your situation He's still so very good. Trust that when you bring your needs to Him as a child who knows their Father cares.
Pray believing.
PS. It's raining in San Antonio. A GOOD steady (though hard) rain. It's been at it for awhile now too. We're in the middle of a 10 year drought. This is a God send.
Sometimes you have to go through a drought.
But God always makes it rain.
P.P.S. A friend wrote about me in a blog. She has a unique knack for describing people - I've always appreciated it - and she was gracious concerning me. She made the word "strange" seem almost endearing. :) She's a fellow foster parent except she is soon to be adopting her two. Lord willing and the courts don't fail.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Blogkeeping updates.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
BUT, in good news, I'm sitting around today fooling with my blog and I've added a couple of nifty features. The first of which:
I'm now on facebook and twitter (I know, I just can't get enough of myself) and now I've finally gotten some nifty buttons to let the world know that. These two little buttons will be hanging out on my sidebar from here on out. Though, if you come across a smaller one for FB please let me know.
I was also able to add some nifty features to the bottom of each post so if you are connected to those things (or practically any of the wonders of the internet) then you can select which one you're connected with and share my post via that method.
I don't know how often any of you share my posts with friends or whatnot, but if you did it's now a lot easier. If you didn't, then I'm just trying to tempt you into doing it. :)
Hope you like the changes, and if you have any housekeeping suggestions/tips/advice for the blog drop me a line!
Don't read verses, read chapters. Don't read chapters, read books.
If you would like to read the entire Q/A head on over to his site -> here.
You teach several classes that deal with scriptural narratives, and you’re big on understanding the (real) main point of individual stories in Scripture. Why do we so often misinterpret the meaning of biblical stories? Can you give us a couple examples of stories whose actual meaning is different than its traditional or surface meaning?
There’s no magic to understanding the Bible; its meaning is not accessible only to a few trained specialists. The often-neglected key to understanding is the context. We quote a verse about God knowing the plans that he has for us, without having any idea that this was part of a letter that Jeremiah wrote to his fellow citizens who had just had their homes destroyed, their families wiped out, and their bodies dragged off to live in Babylon. We read David and Goliath as if it is primarily about God helping underdogs, without recognizing that the giant that David really defeated was Saul. Don’t read verses, read chapters. Don’t read chapters, read books. This is more work than grabbing a verse and going, but accuracy has its rewards.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Newest sidebar additions. Updating my blog.
So if you look at the sidebar, you'll see it's been updated, but I thought I'd try and give you a little help in figuring out which ones you might like. I might not be able to tell you much about each one, but hopefully most of them will get a description.
So there you are... the latest additions to my sidebar. I hope you find some you enjoy!