Tuesday, January 04, 2011


At Christmas I went searching for a Christmas ornament for my tree, something to look back and remember 2010 by. I finally found a small wooden ornament with the word "HOPE" emblazoned in it.

In 2010 I let go of my dream of fostering and put my mom in a nursing home. By the end of the year I just wanted hope, something to hold onto. I ended the year tired, hurting, and pathetically lamenting on verses like "Without a vision the people perish" while I whined about how weird it felt to not have something to do with fostering in my line of goals.

I brought in the new year in an unusual way.. to prevent a general outcry from those that don't know me well enough I won't say "what" exactly that unusual way was but in that weekend I found a strength in myself that I am still embracing.

The past is the past. The future is ahead. I'm responsible for the present.

What I know I need to do, I'm attacking and simply doing. Regardless of fear, regardless of that lazy feeling you usually get 2 seconds after you walk in the door from work and sit down.

The word for 2011 is PURPOSE.

I have purpose today.

My goals aren't to lose weight, or to enjoy life more; it's not to get organized or go back to school. I don't desire to quit smoking or drinking (since I do neither), or begin volunteering, or even break a bad habit.

This year, I purpose to chase after God.
This year, I purpose to chase wisdom.
This year, I purpose to live with purpose.

It's as though I woke up this year and took off. Words like "chasing" and "purpose" and "driven" feel appropriate.

I'm tasting, just a taste, of the joy I lost over the last year.

I've never had a year begin so.... intensely.

I'm curious do you have a word for your year?

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