It really shed new light on what I'm not feeling. The idea that someone else is feeling as empty and as nothing as I am and yet they still think they're saved. They think this time is useful. They seem pretty sure that God hasn't given up on them.
So I wondered....
Then last night I posted on the secondary blog I administer on with Larry/OneSided. It's a blog that is slowly being written on line with a new chapter each month. There's not many contributors yet - maybe one day it will grow (maybe if I paid it a bit more attention).
But the chapter I posted on was "Chapter 10: Only One Drop Left".
Then as I was crawling into bed for the evening, suddenly "Revelation 3:8 & 18" came into my head. I laid in bed thinking it was totally worthless to get up - nothing good and inspirational, or hope carrying could come from Revelation. (Reading about a future home in Heaven isn't inspiring if you think you might not make it.)
Finally, with a sigh I got up and pulled out my bible. This is what I found.
I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door,
and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word,
and hast not denied my name. Revelation 3:8
I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that
thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that
the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve,
that thou mayest see. Revelation 3:18
I went back to bed then, talking to God, asking questions, listening to the silence and mostly just wondering.