If you've been reading my blog, surely you've seen that physical problems are rarely my biggest struggle. I struggle with believing God, trusting God and simply resting in His promises. So, while it's nice that the physical problems are coming together, they are nothing compared to the relief of every step I take that gets me back closer to the relationship I used to have with God.
Tonight, I went to church. My empty quiet church, lit by Christmas lights. I went and I prayed, and I believed, and I yelled, and I cried - the good kind of tears.
llnw (I know this character only by his/her isp name) but they consistently go to previous posts of mine that speak to me, just at the right time.
Tonight, after a long absence I found he/she had returned and I found llnw had led me to a post I wrote back in 2007 whose primary message is this:
"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalms 27:14
And I said "I'll wait."
I believe that something happened tonight... I'm not sure what it was exactly, but something happened tonight. Maybe I didn't change anything important to anyone else, maybe the whole matter was that I needed something to change in me in order to be able to pray, and believe, and yell and cry in all the best ways, rather than writhing in the torment of doubt and fear.
And I guess, coming home, it was nice to see that reminder. It's not wait and be afraid. It's wait, have courage and He shall strengthen thine heart.
Isn't that interesting? You would think that if you were 'of good courage' you wouldn't be in need of God to "strengthen thine heart".
But it's like saying "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief".
Be of good courage.
And He'll strengthen your heart.
Maybe He strengthens your heart in different ways. Maybe there is a profound statement one of you will give me that will clarify the whole idea. Or maybe it's just that courage is a mental thing. You set your mind to mentally persevere in the face of danger, and bad circumstances - and God will strengthen your heart.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.Ephesians 3:20,21