You remember reading the Harry Potter series? I think it was book 4 maybe, that told all about the TriWizard tournament. It was the 2nd challenge that was so frustrating for me to read. Page after page of Harry ignoring the clue, not trying to figure it out because it wasn't easy. Page after page of me feeling much like Hermione and inwardly screaming "FIGURE OUT THE CLUE ALREADY!!!"
Yet, even with that frustration, I knew everything was going to be ok. I knew somehow he'd make it through the challenge. Why? It's the way the books work. Impossible odds, incredible challenges, and somehow the main character makes it through. It didn't matter that this was book 4 of what I knew would be 7 books. He was going to be ok, somehow.
Knowing that didn't stifle my inward "Could you just think about the stupid egg for a second Harry?" though.
But that's how I feel today. I am, hopefully 3 weeks away from New Kid arriving at my home. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to pay for everything. Daycare costs will increase by more than double, formula, diapers... there's so much. How on earth am I going to do this? I'm squeezing by sometimes just as it is. How is this going to happen?
But at the same time, I know how my life has played out in the past. I know Who is in charge. I know God always walks this road with me as long as I'm doing His will. I feel His will in this. So despite the clawing fear in my throat, I know it's going to be ok. I think it's going to be hard, and I won't know how it will play out, but somehow, someway, the end of the story is always the same. God made a way. And He'll get more glory from the fact that it was impossible, and I'll grow in faith because I'll be the one sitting here knowing just how impossible it is.
My God is able. He's not just watching out for me, but for New Kid and Precious. I can trust the Author isn't going to change His writing style. He is able. I am not. So I will do it only through Him.
God be with us.