Thursday, December 06, 2007

Re-focusing

If you had any idea how many posts I've half written in the last couple of days. I've cried through some as I poured my words out to God, only to find myself all poured out and no way to end the post so I'd just erase it.
Others would find me trying to explain the strange things taking place in my walk only to leave me scratching my head trying to figure out how to make it not sound unChristian. Yes, you read right.
And I've realized that over the months I suppose I fell into writing for an audience. Rather than writing for me. Not to say I want my audience to leave, because I've appreciated the feedback, the advice, the prayers, the encouragement, and the list goes on and on. But especially during this last month I've sat down and instead of writing what was in my heart, I told myself that the little crowd of people who visit either might not agree, understand, or worse yet, they might be discouraged by the up and down emotions of this rocky year.

I still don't know how to explain a lot that has happened but from here on out, my walk is going to be just that - my walk. Brutally honest and candid.

Again, I can't tell you enough how glad I am you read this blog. I've made several very wise friends through this blog that give me confidence that should I ever take a leap from sound doctrine, that I'll be hearing from them. In the next few posts you may very well see that flying leap. So keep watching me, commenting, and most of all, for those that have prayed -keep praying for me.

I look forward to finding each of you in Heaven one day, since it likely won't happen here on earth.

~Jeanette

1 comment:

NaNcY said...

well, i have been honest in writing in my blog, however, i know that i do not tell the whole story. i do not often tell of my struggle with doubt, or feelings over my husband not believing in Jesus as the Son of God, or my oldest daughter having her doubts, or my wonderings about the faith of my youngest daughter. but, i have written through some of my struggles with my understanding of the church and the body of Christ, which was what most of my questioning was for quite a while. and i think that it has been helpful to write about it.
we will always have questions and struggles in belief and faith. that is what the battle is all about.

i am glad that you have decided to write in and honest and open way.