I was in a conversation with someone the other day when they said something that absolutely floored me. That’s the #1 reason I wish I had more conversations with people – because you never know what might be said. Sometimes it’s life-changing, “What do you think about having COWS as our spokespeople and have them saying ‘Eat More Chicken’?”, or it could be something as simple yet still illuminating as “Your shoes untied.”
In this particular conversation though, I was laughing about something to do with how I’d declare myself one of the least stressed people in the world. When suddenly I was corrected by someone else who was under the impression, based on my interactions with them, that I was one of the most stressed out people they knew.
To say I was shocked is almost an understatement. I’m rarely stressed. In physical moments of an actual event happening I may be stressed a bit, but afterwards I possess a surprising ability to not worry about things, especially things I can’t control. (Considering my family history I’d say I’m almost a prodigy in this area.) But here I was facing the charge of being severely stressed out. And upon further questioning (since I was a bit stressed over this concept) it appeared as though my intense desire to get life right seemed to be where the impression was coming from.. Maybe “right” isn’t the correct word, perhaps “perfect” would be more accurate.
I want my actions to be perfect, my words to be perfect, my thoughts to be perfect, my goals to be perfect. Small goal, right? Don't worry though; I fail miserably when I consider the target, but my aim is always the same and I find myself disappointed when I see an obvious specific mistake where I could have done something differently. I want to be like Jesus. I’ll never make it, but it will always be my aim. It is my passion, my joy, my hope; to be as much like Him as possible and draw ever closer to Him.
And my driving passion apparently makes me appear stressed instead of simply passionate.
So to clarify things for those of you who have watched my life and felt that I was stressed out – when I most definitely feel nothing of the sort; I thought I would explain the passion burning inside of me in terms you might can identify with.
Have you ever watched LOST?
I’ve watched 3 hours of it so I will begin this part by explaining that the fact that I only have 3 hours experience with it means I obviously don't "get it" and makes me unqualified to even mention the show. My lack of LOST education bugs my brother to pieces. I’ve only watched those 3 episodes because over a course of a couple of months he had won 3 weeks worth of weight loss challenges which entitled him to choose an activity for the whole family. He forced me to watch more LOST each and every week sure that this week would be the one in which I would catch the addiction he’s carrying for the series.
To say that people have been fascinated by LOST, is such a gross understatement that it’s almost like saying winter is cold in Iceland. When I researched the different theories on the plot lines I found 25,105. Is Jacob good? What is his plan? What is up with the candidates? What is the Sideways? Where is Faraday? In continued searching through countless forum entries people are considering whether or not Flocke is going to let Claire kill Kate, why isn't Kates name written on the cave ceiling, and who Wallace is and why he is the answer.
Others do their own searching so they could just click here to see the Top 10 Questions that Lost Needs to Answer. Or maybe you're happy to have the 23 Questions about LOST Episode 605 "The Lighthouse" Answered. Or maybe you've been burning with 15 Burning LOST Questions. Or for the more aggressive of my readers, you might have been searching for The 100 Questions LOST Better Answer Or We'll Be ****'ed.
Or perhaps you’re more interested in the theories?
Maybe a theory on Time Travel?
Or a theory on Jacob?
Or a Sideways theory?
Maybe you’re new to this and just want General Theories?
Or perhaps you’re intensely relieved to find out the Four Toed Statue Question has been Solved?
I could keep going. Trust me, it was hard to stop once I got started with some of the crazy stuff I was reading. This was just the best example I could find that would accurately describe what I am. It appears as thought it literally kills my brother that I won’t continue watching episodes until I’m hooked. But it’s not because the show stresses him out; but because he’s so intensely passionate about the show. He wants to know the answers to the questions the show has raised in his mind and he enjoys talking to others about their theories and questions concerning the show.
And that my friends, is how I feel about God. The struggle for perfection is just learning the plot better. Figuring out what My Writer is going to do next in the story. Doing my best to play my part as flawlessly as possible. I’m a FOUND fanatic.