This post was inspired by C. Michael Pattons post "8 Things I Hate About Christianity" over at Parchment and Pen.
He described how much he hated the BC and AD testimonies. He defined the differences between the two as BC testimonies (Before Christ) showcasing how awful life was before. Then the AD testimony says how wonderful I've become after Christ.
So I wanted to give my AD testimony. And I'd love to hear yours too if you'd like to blog your AD testimony and leave me a comment with the link, or if you'd rather just leave your testimony in the comments. I think it would be amazing to see realistic testimonies of CHRIST rather than the self-shined examples of how far WE have come.
I may have knelt down as a child and asked Christ into my heart but, truly the life changing moment for me was January 17th, 2002. I started it by yelling at God. Simply because I was angry. It's been 9 years now, and I still yell.
I love and praise and whine and complain. I've doubted Him and His love for me, I questioned things and at one point I literally said "I quit". I spent many miserable months trying to figure out how to quit Someone I loved so dearly and who was pursuing me so extraordinarily.
I became a foster parent because I felt He led me to it, but in so many ways I failed completely at it. I was frustrated and confused and felt angry at feeling so alone with a burden so great ( which is what led to the "I quit" I'd just mentioned).
I also enjoyed the greatest blessings a person could ask for as a foster parent. One particular blessing is still active in my life as I get to watch her and her parents grow and grow. I glow in the idea that I've touched a life, her life, forever. How could God do that with me?
I've fallen into sin, sins that I know I shouldn't do yet the same ones I struggle with all the time. And I'm not talking about sins like "Not having enough faith", but the nasty dirty sins that you hide from everyone - especially when you've been raised as "the good girl".
But I can solidly testify that every single time I've sinned, and fallen from my walk, Christ has been right there ready to forgive and keep us moving on toward the goal, the prize, the high calling He has for my life.
Jan 17th, 2002 I didn't cease to be human and become some perfect, shiny Christian. But I became a perfectly blemished one. My life in these last 9 years - if you truly knew my life and not just the shiny view that sometimes shines out from my blog or the initial surface view you'll see just upon meeting me - is one in which truly God is glorified for His mercy and goodness, love and patience.
The last 9 years He's set me free from so much guilt, and fear that I've held on to. He's brought me to the point that sin definitely doesn't have as much a hold on me as it did before. He's led me down roads that, quite honestly, if there had been a way to just get out I would have. But for all the heartache and pain He's also given me more peace and joy now than I think I have any right to enjoy. Especially knowing that I only made it through the hard times by His efforts to bring me through and pick me up when I fell time and again.
People see certain things about me and tell me I'm a good person; but in all truth not one bit of it would have even been endeavored if it weren't for Christ Jesus working in my life.
Because only He could make something beautiful of this bumbling, questioning, mess.
And He does.
And I wouldn't trade a single heartache for the changes He's made in me.