Foster care training is close to being over.
I've sat in a chair and endured hour after hour of what I can only describe as an mental and emotional beating.
Story after story after story of what happened to this kid, that kid, the kid that had kids. 12 yr olds giving birth. Stories of the vics vapor rub cps workers kept in their car that would help them not gag when they went in to a house to investigate an allegation or an outcry and then the description of the homes and why vics was a staple for cps workers.
A hundred horrible scenarios for you to try to imagine, or maybe come up with "what do you do". Your child just said they hate you and are going to hurt you, what do you do? You just overheard your child say they were going to have sex, what do you do?
Don't touch the child, but remember your child needs to be hugged and loved, but not if they don't want to be, but even if they don't want to be you need to make sure they know they are loved and could be hugged. All their baggage is your baggage, but you can't have any baggage because you need to be able to cope with whatever this child needs you to cope with. You must abide by these rules and not let them stay at someone elses house, unless not allowing them to stay at someones house makes them feel abnormal or different, then you should let them.
It's a crazy world where every statement is absolutely true and you just have to find the teeny tiny balance to all of them that makes what you're doing 'right'.
I've attended classes, installed smoke detectors, am currently looking at my fire extinguisher wondering where to stick it (lest they deem it inaccessible), I've got a first aid kid and a lock box, my cleaning supplies have been moved, I've made appointments to get my fingerprints electronically made, provided references and arranged TB testing. I've done these things and so much more (don't even get me started on daycare requirements and education).
I've done all this, and in return I've received approximately 4 minute of hope.
In a short 4 minutes our instructor last night gave me enough hope to keep going. She talked about the different situations in the bible where children were not raised by their natural parents. Best examples they had, Moses and Esther, with a couple of references to Joseph. She said we have the power to make a difference. She said God had a plan for these kids lives. That God had a future planned for these kids lives. She said we don't know who the person we're raising will become. Only she said that last one in a good way, rather than the scary way we've heard it all month long.
I haven't been blogging as much because there's so much going on and so much information in my head that it's hard for me to think of a topic much less think ON the topic. I'm hoping in a couple of weeks that things will go back to normal. So please be patient, keep checking the blog, and I'll blog more regularly as I am able.
Encourage someone. If just a 4 minute quickie of hope can get me through 1800 + minutes of discouragement, just imagine what power you have during a lunch break or your 20 minute hospital visit. You have power. Go to it.