I just didn't get into Christmas this year.
I tried, I really did try. But nothing quite stuck.
Now that it's over, I almost feel let down. And I wonder how Christ feels. It was after all His birthday. I hope someone, somewhere, celebrated it with more gusto than I did. At least for His sake.
But now that it's over I'm trying to figure out what went wrong. Thinking back to some of the things I've said over the past couple of weeks, I realize now that one thing was seriously skewed in my mindset. Never once have I required certain weather conditions for my birthday to feel like my birthday. When my niece or nephews birthday rolls around, it could be snowy, rainy, hot, muggy, it could be a huge impenetrable blanket of fog and it would still feel like their birthday.
It's typical in my family for holidays and birthdays to raise up conflict, and while that elicits a certain amount of dread it's never made me wish away a single holiday or birthday. And even in the midst of conflict, it still feels like whoever's birthday it is.
Somehow, I wasn't able to give Christ that same consideration.
Not this year.