Monday, December 18, 2006
Have you ever stubbed your toe really hard?
Smacked your thumb with a hammer?
Shut your hand in the car door?
Banged your head into a low board?
I remember years back watching Home Improvement with Tim Allen, and every time he would go into his basement he'd bang his head on that pipe. He'd grab his head and let out string of (thankfully) unintelligible words while waiting for the pain to wear off.
Whether you've done or not done any of these things, I'm almost certain that everyone reading can equate to holding your breath in pain. The moment the pain lets up you let out air you didn't realize you were holding and you take a breath. You might even take a couple of deep breaths as your shock or surprise at the pain ebbs away.
I caught myself several times last week, doing just that. I wasn't busting my thumb or banging my head. There wasn't any pain involved at all. But there was something in me that was loosening that I'd never realized had tightened so very tight. It's simply one of those things where you walk around thinking you're alright until one day something changes and you find yourself wondering how you could have walked around like this so very long.
God is too easy to slip away from. I'm so good at holding people at arms length that I forget my relationship with God should be anything BUT that. As I distance myself further and further from God there is all the more room for things to stand in between me and God. Whether it's family or work, or health. Until one day I realize my only glimpses of God are what's available between the gaps of the mountains in my life. And that's just not good enough.
And thank God it doesn't have to be. It can be so much better. So much richer. So much deeper. So very wonderful.
So today, I can only say this: I'm sorry God. I'm sorry that I need reminders to talk to you. I'm sorry I wait too long and forget the depths of Your love for me when I talk to You. I'm sorry for every time I've talked to You professionally and courteously and failed to talk to You, a very personal God, in a very personal way.
And to you, my friends, my family, and any that wander to this post today: I pray you become passionate. Passionate enough to love God wholeheartedly with utter disregard to the worlds standards of love. Passionate enough to do whatever it takes to get as close to Him as you possibly can. Passionate enough that nothing could possibly keep you from Him.