Monday, December 11, 2006

Two ill-fated children

T'is so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know thus saith the Lord.

Once I've gotten past my initial knee-jerk reaction I will probably change my mind. But I'm telling you right now, I'm two seconds from yelling "hogwash" at the idea that trusting is sweet.

When an army is chasing you and God's plan seemed to be to march you into the sea, trusting seems anything but sweet.
When you're in a crowd of over a hundred thousand hungry people, and someone informs you that your source of food is going to just... fall from the sky tomorrow, trusting seems anything but sweet.
When you're about to battle a people too great to number and God chops your army down to 300 men, trusting seems anything but sweet.

And sweet or petrifying, the only reason you would dare to do as God says to do is only because God says to.
I'm not above trying to convince God that He's most obviously got the wrong person.

I spent Saturday and Sunday proving in my own strength I stink, absolutely stink at caring for children. Two poor little girls were knocked over, and had their little toes stepped on more times than I can count. It was like having a new pet that is always right behind your foot.
I turned the children over to their parents after 24 hrs of "care" and sat down right then and there and informed God that he had the wrong person. If I didn't know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was His plan I would have literally called my worker at the agency and put a stop to the whole thing. I would have called them the very moment the children left.

The giants in my life may be 4 foot tall. But I can barely swallow for fear.

Here's the only good part.

Other than an almost constant cadence in my head reminding Him to equip those that He's called, there is no question as to whether or not this is going to happen.
For all the fear, for all the ways I know I'm going to struggle in this, I am more grateful than I can tell you that I am confident in God. There are so many things I think about God, and so few things I know about God. I'm just so glad He made sure I knew this.

1 comment:

One Sided said...

You make me smile.

Most children have an easy pace. Once you know how to find it. And Once you learn some parenting tricks.

Can you recall what you liked to do at their age?
Do it.
I have no fear of being left with my 5 granddaughters as my wife and daughters go off for bonding.
I always like to color adn I ahve always like to read and tell stories.
So that is what we do. at first it was mostly me, you should see us now. We invent a story, we write it and we illistrate it.
I fix what they want for lunch, I have even serverd ice cream a half hour before soup.
It diffres a bit if you are "parenting" but providing child care is easier if you can remember the child you were.