Sunday, May 18, 2008

A lot to learn

God's been good to me.

There's a lot I don't understand, there's a lot of questions I'd love answers to, preferably in the writing on the wall fashion, but this I know, God loves me.

I was watching a show today and one of the characters was about to go away for good, and this one woman said tearfully, "But I have so many questions, there's so much I want to know." And the guy leaving said, "No. You are loved. That's enough."

To say I feel unworthy to walk around as a Christian, somehow pretending that only weeks ago I wasn't snivelling on the floor glaring at God, well, it's an understatement. I imagine how the prodigal son felt as he returned, and how he might have wished that dad hadn't made such a big hoopla over his return. And worst of all, that every ounce of the celebration of the father, hadn't been so utterly sincere.

But here I sit. Saved, and finally at peace, and only by the grace of God.

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