And I still haven't figured out how to do what I've been blogging about all of this time.
It makes me feel anxious, twisted up inside and more than a little frustrated as I write each and every post because I believe the words I write from the very bottom of my heart - yet I haven't figured out how to do it.
My posts *typically* all talk about walking the walk, not with a Sunday attitude but with a life changing every day attitude so that every day, every moment, every encounter in life is touched by God's hand and His anointing in your life. Not that we won't fail and stumble once in awhile, but that we will do our utmost to live as He would have us to live. Every day. Every word. Every thought. Every action.
But I've struggled with it because apart from becoming a missionary and going over to Africa or something - I haven't figured out how to do that as an HR worker, a Customer service person, a newspaper person, a piano player. So despite the fact that I want it more than life - I've never figured out how exactly to do it.
But in the last week I've found something interesting. I've begun studying the Bible.
I've never been good at that before, I can read it no problemo, but when it comes to studying I've always failed miserably and felt as though I was just making up things to do. But now, this week, I've been studying. And here's what I've found.
I've been studying out the words and references and I now have something more than my "feeling" that God loves us but scripture proof that the God of love and Holiness has a heart of love towards us that we can trust. (You wouldn't think that would be up for debate, but in my house it is and I can't just say He loves us, I need scriptures to back up my knowledge.) That's the difference between studying out certain thoughts and just reading.
I've also found some words that were difficult to read sometimes. I'm going to go more into them later, and you'll be able to watch this journey some I suppose as I try and accomplish what it says, but I'm going to live as the Bible directs me to. And I've got the instructions for the game now, and I understand them (for the most part) so we're going to see what happens.
Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
I stopped there but that's not the end of the chapter. I'm going to work on living out the instructions in chapter 5. This week I'll be focusing on something very difficult for me. "No foolish talking."
I'm a queen at it. I can make a joke of anything and carry it on and on and on until half the world would gladly beat me to a pulp with anything handy. So I am going to focus on not talking foolishly. I don't believe it means I can't have a sense of humor, but I think it's possible to do both and do both with purpose rather than just blurting out whatever comes to mind.
Pray I do well.