Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Choking on my own words

My very last post was on how we shouldn't be in a hurry to get out of the fire. So I spent 4 days sweating in it, quite literally.
I caught something, and Thursday morning ended up with a high fever that never ended. I haven't eaten since that same Thursday morning except this morning I've eaten successfully, a can of peaches - it took nearly two hours to finish. My strength has absolutely left me. Now that the fever is gone I'm resting in a chair and find that to truly rest my head has to be laid back on something so I'm not supporting it's weight. I've never really noticed how heavy my head was before, so this is rather unique.
Meanwhile, I've had plenty of time to think.
I have the best job in the world. I help get people jobs, work 8-5, got 2 weeks vacation the year I signed on and in two more years, I'll even get more time. I get a huge Christmas bonus, and paid holidays and a birthday goodie box and a raise every - single - year and I found myself thinking "This isn't the job for me". And now I'm wondering if God has something better in mind for me.
By better I don't mean with all the benefits my company's given me, but better for me in an all-around way is better period.
Even I realize, especially knowing todays job market, how crazy it would be for me to leave a wonderful job like this. Especially when some of my other realizations this week were that monsters must be poking me in my bed and that's why I couldn't sleep. But one thing I also realize, holding onto my prize, whenever God calls me to trade one for another, is foolish. It would be scary as all get out to ever let this job go. But if it's God's plan I can't wait to see then when, how, what, and where's that are involved.

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