I've recently been struggling with a situation. In my church, there was a man that was making me uncomfortable because I felt he was being very inappropriate with me. Raised in a strict household that did not allow you to tell a fellow church member that they were wrong, I stubbornly refused to think for myself. I didn't want to go to church anymore, despite the fact that I was absolutely craving spiritual food and fellowship. I love my church, but I couldn't stand to be there any more.
So I left.
I sent my pastor a letter explaining that I was horribly over-reacting to what was probably nothing, but that I was uncomfortable and didn't want to be there any more.
My pastor is a good man, and a very loving but firm leader I'm learning. He called a week later and asked me to let him deal with the situation, and to just hold on until I heard from him again.
I won't tell you how everything has ended up just yet, as a lot of things are still up in the air. But I just wanted to share this story with whoever reads this, because I learned a valuable lesson.
Sometime Sunday night, at a different church, I heard a sermon on peace and unity. And it's hard for me to describe why, but that is what finally broke through the chaos, and confusion in my mind. I was deathly afraid to approach this man and say STOP, because if it offended him or his wife, they might get mad and they'd been at the church longer than me and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah.
Breaking through that chaos was wonderful, but it made me somber and very ashamed of the way I handled things. The situation was mine to handle, not my pastors. But unfortunately, I was too caught up in my emotions and my past and how other people had told me to handle the situation... all my advisers told me things to do but then said "It's up to you". While that was kind of them, and I know what they meant, I wish now someone had had the sense to say that it wasn't up to me, it was up to God. The bible instructs me on what to do if you feel there is a brother in error, and that's exactly what happened. I was just too busy running scared to think of it.
There's a lot more to the story, maybe just my telling you the story without all the extra facts attached to it will hurt my credibility with you, I don't know. I half expected my pastor to be angry with even the insinuation that someone in the church would be inappropriate. But, the reason I wanted to share this... there are a thousand and one reasons as to why you should feel confused, and scared, and worried about the out come of things. Even more reasons to run away and hide somewhere when life gets tough. But, in those moments, try try try to remember that God is in control. That He's not the author of confusion, and that He's promised PEACE to His believers. Turn to Him and just tell Him your fears. Praying is a simple conversation with your Father. Tell Him your worries and your cares, He's listening and He knows how to handle this - whatever your 'this' may be.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.