We made it.
I believe I've spent the last year heralding how wonderful 2010 is going to be. I haven't the faintest idea why exactly that I have been so confident about 2010, but I'm marching into 2010 expecting a great many things.
I thought about using this post to look back at 2009, but I want to wait and maybe do that later, though I will look back a little just to reminisce about how amazing 2009 has been. It's been anything but easy, filled with fear and doubt over a move 300 miles from everything familiar, to worry it was a bad decision when 4 months later I still had no job. But I'm ending 2009 annoying all my friends and family by telling them how very happy I am.
I'm not fraught with worry, in fact it's just the opposite, I trust God more than I ever have. My faith was challenged severely this year and somehow God brought me through. And He didn't just bring me through a survivor, but a Victor. A true victor.
But I'm looking at 2010, and I see more challenges ahead that I simply don't know what to do with, so I'm simply letting those worries go and trusting that God will handle those challenges when I reach them. He will be faithful in leading me and guiding me in 2010 just as He was in 2009.
Tonight the church that I've been attending offered a come and go communion service. From 8pm-1am the pastors were there and whatever time you wanted all you had to do was just show up and take communion. So at 10:30pm I found myself standing there holding the bread and wine and feeling as though I was a soldier being sent off. (Yeah, soldiers, I know, there's a big difference, but you get the idea.) I feel as though 2010 is going to be so very important for me that being there tonight; giving myself back to God through communion and remembering His sacrifice and honoring it seemed vital.
My heart has been slowly turning towards ministry in the last month. I suppose in a way I've always been in ministry, whether playing the piano for my church or teaching a Sunday school class or whatnot. But in the last month, and especially tonight, my heart seemed to be veering towards evangelism more than ever before. That God would use my life as a witness for His glory. That He would make me a light that is not hid under a bushel by my fears or doubts concerning what to say or do. I began to pray that He would teach me how to witness to others of His glory. Because I haven't the faintest idea how to actually begin those discussions.
The pastors at church ended the small communion with a special "into the new year blessing for me" and as they prayed over me, and even in their talking to me before and after they just kept mentioning how God was going to bless me, and that God saw what I was doing (like attending communion services when I should be in bed asleep) and that He honors things like that and would see my heart and bless it.
It's lovely words, and I don't doubt for a moment that God loves me so much and will continue to bless me as He has this 2009 even if no one asked Him toon my behalf. But something about 2010 has arrested my thoughts concerning my own blessing. And I believe that He's outlining a plan in 2010 where I will become a blessing. I don't know how, or where, or what, but I truly believe I God is leading me into a year of being a blessing to HIM.
That's why tonights communion felt so vital. I needed to give my life back to Him tonight for His use in 2010.
Like I said, I don't have any explanation as to why I feel so strongly about 2010, but I'm very sober concerning the challenges and the growing that I believe will be taking place this coming year. I love Him so much now, He's so worthy of so much more than someone like me has to offer. But He still has plans for me, and I am ready to walk in them.
May your 2010 be blessed beyond abundance, and may you find hope, peace, and joy you have never imagined. May the love of God reign in you and multiply to scatter across your communities, your city, your county, your street. And may you find rest in releasing your hesitation and embracing His resolve.
God bless you. And happy New Year.