Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Does your mind race? My mind races. For instance, generally before I ever blog something I've spent a lot of waking time, just writing it in my head. I don't plan to do it I'll just be tying my shoes or something and the next thing that I know I'm writing the blog in my head. Or pouring over a thousand different conversations I've had that day, or trying to figure out a thousand better ways to say something I'd said that day. My mind never stops. And quite frankly, the noise is tiresome. You'd think you'd just say, "stop thinking about those things then", but if I do, something else will pop in. I've got a lot of things going on this week and so I'd been pouring over all of those things too. I'm sitting in the moral support chair for my mom while she and I take dad in for a biopsy - just so you know, my ability to comfort is in cracking jokes... not usually the best trait when confronted with family medical problems... or is it?:) - , my brother did something and I'm planning a hundred ways I could of been more supportive to help him celebrate the event, and a dilemma I'm having with a couple of friends. And please don't make me tell you how many times I go over my conversations with them to see some way that would of helped the situation. Ok, now I've written all that, and you've got to be wondering - ok, you probably weren't, but I'm going to point out the fact- the title of this post is "Peace". So far everything I've written doesn't have anything to do with peace. But, finally at the beginning of the week I realized I'd never be able to make it through the week on my own strength. I'm tired, and sad, and discouraged, and happy, and nervous, and scared, and pleased all at the same time. If my brain had tried to tackle all that I'm pretty sure it would of imploded. So I prayed. And for at least 36 hrs now, my mind has been absolutely clear - insert jokes about empty headedness here - and it's been peaceful. I'm hoping it doesn't stay this way forever, as having constant activity up there keeps me reassured that it is still working, but for now this peace is good. God can handle my problems. He'll fix them better than I would anyway. You should try Him sometime if you haven't already.