Friday, September 08, 2006

Happy anniversary

Hi there

I'm so very pleased to tell you that, as of today, I have been blogging for one year.
My first post Sept 8th 2005, was something along the lines of "I hope I keep this up, but we'll see". I guess I kept it up, huh? :) I spent this week printing out my posts so I would have a hard copy in a folder. While looking at some of the old posts, one thing jumped out at me, I haven't changed too much. Some of the original things I struggled with when I started are things I still post about struggling with now. Not too much has changed, but at the same time so very much has changed.

It has been an amazing year.

I started this blog because my sister-in-law, Glenda, got fired from her job at the church we attended. So because of that, and Gods leading, our entire family left that church. We all ended up splitting apart and attending different churches. After a few months I found "the" church God had for me to attend, but nearly left it because an old man kept being very inappropriate with me, despite his even being married. Thanks to my pastors efforts I stayed, and I was also instrumental in getting my brother and his family to move to my church as well.

In this year I also felt God holding me back from starting foster care, I started on with CASA, finished my CASA case and was released to start the processing for foster care.

I've learned to give God my dreams, watched what He could do with my dreams and which ones He'd ask me to walk away from entirely. I've learned better to trust God and not hold on to my desires so tightly. I still struggle with watching what I say. I've learned to set boundaries and standards that I never even considered setting before, and to my relief I've learned that sometimes if someone is upset with me and my boundaries, that it is their problem and not always my own.

I've enjoyed this year, and certainly enjoyed looking back at my old posts. I know it takes time, and you don't always have something to say, but I'd encourage those not blogging to start. It's a terrific way to look back and definitely a great way to see your growth throughout the year. I want to thank those of you that comment, and those of you that just read. Thanks for putting up with me.

I'd like to leave you with an old post that seems (to me) worth repeating.

Father God, I come before You now, with my heart breaking.
I have no ability to see beyond false smiles, and the superficial "I'm fines"
But Father God, YOU DO. Give me wisdom in my words,
Give me discernment, and perception that could only come from You.
Give Your followers insight to the lost and hurting around them.
All of us. Not just me.
Touch those hurting.
Lead them to those that can point out Your amazing love Lord.
With Your amazing Grace, draw them to Your own Word that will open their eyes to your love for them that came with such a high cost.
Give them hope.
And do whatever it takes to break our hearts for the nation that's lost and hurting around us.
Father, we're so calloused.
So hardened, that we don't see the big picture of those hurting.
Break my heart Father, again and again, until it is raw and tender.
So that I can be sensitive, and my heart will be towards the lost in a more fervent way.
Remind me daily. Of Your lost and dying world.
Touch through ME.
And forgive me for letting worldly, foolish distractions, take my eyes off the lost and dying, the hurting and mourning.
Please Father God, In the precious Holy name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.
Grant me this.

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