I wish... I wish I could give someone my thoughts, for just a day, so I could see what you'd make of them.
I feel as though I'm an ant, and I'm trying to eat a moose.
I want to learn. I want to grow. Through the many topics you've seen lately in the blog, the common thread to each and every one is simply this:
I want more of God.
What do you want?
I listened to a preacher last night and the whole summation of his sermon was "When God comes in, you'll see a change."
He talked about Zacchaeus the tax collector and the change that took place in him when he met Jesus. Luke 19.
He talked about two blind men, and the change that took place when they met Jesus. Matthew 9:27-31
And he used specific testimonies from his own life, and the lives of others to illustrate the change that came when Christ came into their lives.
And I found myself looking through the row of Christians around me, people that had already been "changed", and wishing this preacher would admonish us to change still more. I don't want the work He did in me to be a one time thing. He might have been able to speak the word and the perfect paradise appear for the future Adam and Eve, but He didn't speak the word and perfect me.
The bible says He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. But, it's not complete yet. Not by a long shot.
Good things have happened this past week. I've walked out from under the burden of something that I never could have imagined walking out of. I've made obvious steps in getting past something I was nervous that I might never get past. And I've realized how through the last couple of weeks, my thinking on some things has changed, in some very good ways. I've become more content and comfortable with God. I've seen specific areas (besides love) that I need to grow in - among many other things I'm asking God to teach me how to pray.
I've discovered people, and blogs on the internet that have excited me, just to be able to find more people seeking and working in some of the specific things I'm looking at growing in (though I want to clarify that my growth primarily is strengthened in my church, not by the new outside sources God has brought my way).
With all that in mind, I'm wondering, why on earth am I so discouraged?
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I want to comment on something you said. You said "though I want to clarify that my growth primarily is strengthened in my church, not by the new outside sources God has brought my way" Are you only strengthened IN your church or because of your church? Can you clarify that for me. Because there are many times I am strengthened because of things like the worship service or just the preaching itself but also because of the church body itself. There are just some people that you go to because you know they talk to God everyday and are very much aware of His presence that you can sense it and are strengthened and even comforted by them. Sorry kinda went on a tangent. :o)
The bible says "For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring."
Some people, when asked to define that verse would say it means "because of Christ we live...etc" and others would say "IN Him we live".
I believe, that those that live "because" of Christ, are believers in Christ.
And those that live IN Him, are followers of Christ.
Do you see the distinction there?
I am IN my church. The things that hurt my church, hurt me. The victories in my church I count as my victories. Much like I can be "IN" Christ even when I'm not praying, I'm still IN my church when it's not church time.
So to specifically clarify,
I'm strengthened during the service, and I'm strengthened during week because of the interactions I have with the individuals connected to my church that I've come to love and trust. It's during those conversations that I'm challenged to define what I believe, challenged to be accountable for the words I say and things I do and challenged to be someone that will strengthen them as well rather than simply take from them.
My growth doesn't come specifically when I'm in the church building. But from being in the church body.
I hope that clarifies. It's a lot easier to live than explain.
My graddaughter Emily loves to draw. She takes over the office and no piece of paper is safe. At some point she will come out and ask that I tell her what I want her to draw. We are in the bird, bunny, cat, dog and tree stage at teh moment. After this she will come and ask me to draw the same thing she is drawing, a dog under a tree, a bird in a tree.
Now as a gradfater who loves his grandchild, Do I make my drawing as un trained as hers? Do I draw with every bit of skill I can muster and try to tell her that some day she will be better than me? DO I make my drawing just a bit better and perhaps show her how draw one bubby ear bent over to make it look just a bit different than the other bunnies in the picture?
You tell me.
I choose the last option. When I take my niece or nephew to the piano to play with them, I don't play all the notes I could normally play, but I scale down the song to something simple that she will be able to grasp.
And so God does with us.
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