Thursday, April 26, 2007

I am convinced.

It was a subject that, quite frankly, I thought I'd never understand.

"My sheep know my voice" sounds great in theory, but when I can't hear the tone, inflection, or pitch of a voice, guess what... I can't tell your voice from any other. That's like expecting you to know my voice just because you've read my blog. It's impossible. It doesn't make sense. And worst of all, it's frustrating.

It's mostly frustrating because of all the Christians out there that will spout that saying, when you don't know what to do. It leaves you thinking that, obviously, they're better Christians than you, because somehow they've fathomed the unfathomable. They've recognized a voice from words in a book. They've recognized a voice because they spent hours talking to the Voice. They recognize a voice because that Voice has spoken to them.

And now, I've joined your ranks.
Last night I faced a voice that spoke true words to me. It was 100% accurate, but was a twisted and tangled mess of facts that led only to a solid conclusion.
This voice spoke no lie that I could confront it with, so when it's sharp needles of truth pierced my heart and hurt me, I had no defense.
This voice also spoke scriptures I'd long ago read, and forgotten about, and used them to back up the conclusion that his truth led to.

And then God spoke. He made no bold declarations, He spread no sense of peace, and no feelings of love or joy flooded me. He didn't announce "The Lord God Saith" or speak in King James, He just spoke. And He told me that acting on the conclusion I'd been led to was exactly what the devil wanted. And then told me I needed only to choose what I will believe and live.

I won't always feel what I believe is true. But that doesn't make it any less true.
I choose though, I have made a firm decision, to believe it.
I have found though, that it's a lot harder to act on what you believe, when you feel the opposite is true. I don't know how to get past that, except to just try.

So todays lesson? Try and Pray. Trust God for the results, and for all the strength you're going to need to try.

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