The next big thing.

Everyone waits for something big. It's natural.

I was talking to a guy the other day that was struggling daily in his walk. He kept saying he just wanted God to show him his purpose, what he was supposed to be doing, and then he said he'd go do it with everything that is in him. I listened for awhile then asked him "what if Gods purpose for you today is, making it through today?"
It was far from eloquent, my words weren't powerful, and if someone else had been there (if anyone else had been there) maybe he would have gotten something more motivational. But so often we don't go anywhere because we're waiting on the big thing we're suppose to do.

But those 'oh so wonderful' big things are absolutely terrifying. God called me to be a foster parent, and after filling that role for just a few weeks it has taken nearly three times that long for me to be willing to step up and sign up for round two.
God led me into purchasing a house. Nearly every day I find myself looking at some nook or corner of the house and suddenly trying to swallow past the fear of 360 payments (I've made two so far).
When it became clear that my parents would one day have to move from their home (it's provided by my dads job) I managed to sincerely invite them to move into my home. Despite the fact that regular prayer is required just to keep that sincerity in my heart.

Three great big, life changing things, and I did them. I count the third as being "done" because I don't know that they are suppose to come live with me, but I know that I was suppose to invite them, sincerely invite them.

Yet,

When God told me to pull over and give a lady a ride - I told Him I only had so much time to get to work.
When God told me at the check out counter to call out to a lady so I could pay the grocery bill since her food stamps failed her for some reason - I told God everyone within shouting distance at wal-mart would think I was crazy.
When God told me to speak a specific word of encouragement to an older lady I barely knew - I told Him I was too young and that she would take the words better from someone more her age.
When God told me I didn't have to be afraid - I looked out the window anyway.
When God told me how something worked, I asked someone else their opinion, then stumbled when (surprise surprise) they didn't tell me the same thing God had.

It's the small stuff. Oh, the wonderful small stuff. It's in the giving of our time, our pride, our desires that makes up the ultimate giving of our lives. Somehow I constantly forget that giving up my life means giving up today as well. The birth of a child is a great big event that changes your life. But it's in the 2am feedings, the wiping up spilled messes, the hugs and the kissed boo boos that makes you a mother or a father.
It's in the small things.

It's in daily d a i l y loving others as much as you love yourself. I love myself enough to buy me an ice cream cone, but do I love the guy next to me in line enough to say "his is on me"? I mow my lawn, but do I love my neighbors enough to offer to mow theirs after I finish mine?
It's in letting someone else put in the last puzzle piece, eat the last cookie, get in front of you in line, choose the temperature of the room, or have the last word in a fight.

It's in trusting God enough that when He says speak you speak, He says go you go, and when He says wait you wait. Even if he's only telling you to say "Gesundheit", or to go to the church and vacuum, or to continue waiting at a green light because you don't realize a truck is about to run their red light.

Someone recently said "God is either in control or He isn't." If God can only do through my life what He wants to do that I give my stamp of approval on, then He's not in control.

God help me remember that in asking You to change my life, You will first have to change my day.