Thursday, April 12, 2007

Well-rested decisions.

I need to love, with Christs perfect love. Then I'll receive the gift of healing.
I need to have more faith, mountain moving faith. Then I'll receive the gift of healing.

Or so I thought.

Welcome to a bright new day.
I've been exhausted. And today for the first time in weeks, I've woken up semi-well rested.
I still don't know what exactly the problem is/was but nightly my doorbell (either front or back doors) would go off in the middle of the night. It started slowly right after I moved in, and then became a nightly occurrence. Then it became a twice a night occurrence.
I had told you before that it takes me a while to get mad, well in this particular case it took nearly a month and a half without a good nights sleep to get me fed up.

So I came home from church last night and ripped the doorbells off the walls.

And I slept through the night.

And today I feel more clear headed, and way less sleep deprived foggy. Today is a wonderful day. And all because of a little sleep, I'm seeing the topic of healing better than before. And, thanks to Brother Marty wandering over to my blog, I've found a whole new resource of bloggers that talk primarily about the gift of healing.

There's Brother Marty himself at "Brother Marty" - Reflections from a United Methodist lay speaker and associate member of The Order of St. Luke The Physician (an interdenominational healing order). It needs to be shouted from the highest peaks that God is not out of the miracle business.

There's Mark over at "Made to praise Him" - Want to help the poor, broken, orphaned, addicted, or imprisoned? Then go find them, get as close to them as you can, love them authentically, and then give your gifts of grace! Meet messy people, build loving relationships, pray by name, get personal, give grace. Forgive the individuals who have torn your heart out and betrayed you. Let God's supernatural grace flow into and out of you, like a healing river, to the messiest people you can find. Freely you have received. Freely give. Let the river flow.

And David D'Louhy at "The Chronicles of a Healing Revivalist" - My journey with God as He equips me to do the impossible.

The most interesting article so far has come from Mark at Made to praise Him. It was a post entitled "When we shouldn't ask" . Just to give you a gist of the article, this is the first paragraph :
Pop quiz anyone? How many times in the Bible did Jesus pray for the sick? Um. Yes. It is a trick question. Jesus never prayed for the sick: he healed them. He didn't petition His Father to do what he'd been asked to do.

And then, over at "Chronicles of a Healing Revivalist" was a new post titled "Thoughts to ponder: Raising the dead" It touches on something One-Sided commented on recently about whether or not you'd be strong enough not to take the credit for healings, and also made me look at my "requirements" for the gift that I listed at the beginning of the post. Here's his paragraph that caught my attention:
I realized that if I did raise the dead I would think that I have somehow arrived in that I have reached some cool spiritual level with God that He allowed me to raise the dead. WRONG!
We would probably see more people raised from the dead if people like myself stopped thinking that we are at a high level of spiritual maturity because it happened through us.

And I realized, that's exactly what I'd think.

So, in case you're wondering how things stand here's where I stand. I'm going to speak the impossible. I'm going to speak healing over the lump in my nieces arm. I'm going to speak peace to my mother who just called asking me to pray for my dad that is especially weak today. And I'm going to speak strength for his day.
And then I'm just going to trust God.
It's not too hard for God.

That's not to say I still don't want my faith to grow, or my love to be perfected. Because I do. But only because I want to grow. That's been my chant for awhile now, I want to grow I want to grow I want to grow. Whether God ever uses me for anything ever again, I still want to grow. I'm at peace concerning the gift of healing now. There's no sense of confusion or frustration anymore. Just a sense that I need to do what I'm suppose to do, and leave the rest in Gods hands.

Meanwhile, if any of you would like a free doorbell kit, just let me know. I won't be needing it anymore.

10 comments:

Mark H said...

I got goose-bumps and teary-eyed when I read your paragraph "I'm going to speak healing ..." I know Father is smiling.

An amazing journey awaits you. May Holy Spirit guide you into all the truth.

p.s. The quote you attributed to me is actually from John Lynch at http://hungryandthirsty.blogspot.com/2007/04/loveless-grace.html

flyawaynet said...

I'm glad you came by Mark. You might not get the same strengthening from my blog that I get from yours now, but I hope anytime you visit here you might be able to see specific aspects where your words made an impact in someones life. Mine.

Thanks for the correction on the quote, I hadn't noticed that it wasn't actually made by you. Your blog didn't have a tagline for me to refer to, but I remembered reading that line and felt it was a good description of your blog.

Mark H said...

Woh! You're so kind. Thank you.

Never think there's a hierarchy regarding encouragement and learning! We have a book in our office written by a professional teacher of graphic design which has a dedication at the beginning: "To every one of my students. Thank you for everything you taught me."

I've only recently realised that some consider me to be a teacher of sorts, and that really humbles me. I make it an important principle in my life (with varying degrees of consistency, it has to be said) to learn from everyone, and to never consider myself the teacher, but the student. I'm relatively inexperienced. I haven't been to any kind of Bible school. I just listen to Holy Spirit and then try to work it out with the help and accountability of others.

Holy Spirit. We love you. You're our teacher. Teach us some more. We love it when you do.

flyawaynet said...

Well said, and Amen.

I hope to one day reverse the seeming order of my life. I don't want to live my life forever blogging about one day working in the gifts of the spirit. But rather live my life working in the gifts of the Spirit then blogging about the effects.

Mark H said...

Me too! I'm on a journey from theory to testimony. I'm finding it's deceptively simple: all I need to do is GO.

flyawaynet said...

This is exactly why I like talking to Christians. Your comment brought a reaction in me that I didn't expect, something in myself I hadn't quite examined in myself before.

You say "GO" and instantly I said "Yeah sure, but THAT is scary!"

Brother Marty said...

Flyaway,
You are so fresh and unspoiled in your walk towards the healing ministry. I'm awed.
Remember, God never equips anyone to always and everywhere wield His authority, but only when it suits Him. I'm so very humbled by His Will.
But when His will answers my invoking....it is wonderful, awesome, miraculous, and heavenly. Only through true love for those afflicted does God work. I pray you find the capacity to love that deeply...even if it makes you look like a fool...love that deeply...then God will work through your invitation.
I hope I don't sound like a bad teacher!!! But it is what God puts on my soul to share.
Marty

flyawaynet said...

At some point during all this, I became overwhelmed with the concept of "I've got to love the entire world, perfectly, all the time and only then will I be able to manifest the gift of healing."

Granted, loving everyone, all the time, perfectly as God would love them is a good goal.

But focusing on that kept me from even considering speaking healing for anyone. Now, I've considered the idea that in that very moment, looking into the eyes of someone in need, that that is when I might be filled with love for the person, and thus speak Gods Will into being.

That isn't to let myself off the hook of loving others NOW, just one more way of God providing a way despite me.

Would you agree? disagree? any thoughts or experiences to back that up or tear it down?

Mark H said...

Woh! HUGE goal!

Our Father looks at the heart. Yours is not closed to Him using you to heal others - more than that, yours is hungering and thirsting for it. Yours is also questioning the depth of your love for others. I think Father really LOVES your heart!

Is love what is felt, or what we do? Is it our love that will heal, or His? Is our act of love to put ourselves in situations where HIS love can flow through us? Love grows when it is tested - it cannot be nurtured in private.

At Healing On The Streets, I go and put myself in that situation because of the little love that I do have. I have no misconceptions that my love is small and imperfect (but growing and perfecting every time it is tested). I also know that I do not need to FEEL anything. I just know how vast His love is.

SOME of the time when ministering healing to people I become overwhelmed with the sense of His love. I was with someone this Saturday and I was feeling God's heart breaking over incidents in their past - I looked them in the eyes and said "I wish I could find the words to tell you how much God loves you" and they said back to me "you don't need to - I can see it in your eyes". That was God's love flowing through me. I was humbled.

Your heart is big enough and soft enough (it is not hardened towards what He wants to do) for God's love to flow through you. God loves your heart. Ask Him to reveal more of His love to you. Find some time alone to just sit quietly and listen to His voice - you'll be amazed at what you hear. Then allow your love to be tested, confident that you have a good heart and that His love will flow through you to others.

flyawaynet said...

I've always been a huge fan of "act as if". If you want a better relationship with someone "act as if" you have one, and one may very well develop. In that same instance if you want to love someone "act as if" you do, and maybe you WILL.

At the same time, the goal is to actually end up feeling as I'm acting.

I wish I had an opportunity to join you all some Saturday. I wonder if there is such a thing as spiritual internship.