Well-rested decisions.

I need to love, with Christs perfect love. Then I'll receive the gift of healing.
I need to have more faith, mountain moving faith. Then I'll receive the gift of healing.

Or so I thought.

Welcome to a bright new day.
I've been exhausted. And today for the first time in weeks, I've woken up semi-well rested.
I still don't know what exactly the problem is/was but nightly my doorbell (either front or back doors) would go off in the middle of the night. It started slowly right after I moved in, and then became a nightly occurrence. Then it became a twice a night occurrence.
I had told you before that it takes me a while to get mad, well in this particular case it took nearly a month and a half without a good nights sleep to get me fed up.

So I came home from church last night and ripped the doorbells off the walls.

And I slept through the night.

And today I feel more clear headed, and way less sleep deprived foggy. Today is a wonderful day. And all because of a little sleep, I'm seeing the topic of healing better than before. And, thanks to Brother Marty wandering over to my blog, I've found a whole new resource of bloggers that talk primarily about the gift of healing.

There's Brother Marty himself at "Brother Marty" - Reflections from a United Methodist lay speaker and associate member of The Order of St. Luke The Physician (an interdenominational healing order). It needs to be shouted from the highest peaks that God is not out of the miracle business.

There's Mark over at "Made to praise Him" - Want to help the poor, broken, orphaned, addicted, or imprisoned? Then go find them, get as close to them as you can, love them authentically, and then give your gifts of grace! Meet messy people, build loving relationships, pray by name, get personal, give grace. Forgive the individuals who have torn your heart out and betrayed you. Let God's supernatural grace flow into and out of you, like a healing river, to the messiest people you can find. Freely you have received. Freely give. Let the river flow.

And David D'Louhy at "The Chronicles of a Healing Revivalist" - My journey with God as He equips me to do the impossible.

The most interesting article so far has come from Mark at Made to praise Him. It was a post entitled "When we shouldn't ask" . Just to give you a gist of the article, this is the first paragraph :
Pop quiz anyone? How many times in the Bible did Jesus pray for the sick? Um. Yes. It is a trick question. Jesus never prayed for the sick: he healed them. He didn't petition His Father to do what he'd been asked to do.

And then, over at "Chronicles of a Healing Revivalist" was a new post titled "Thoughts to ponder: Raising the dead" It touches on something One-Sided commented on recently about whether or not you'd be strong enough not to take the credit for healings, and also made me look at my "requirements" for the gift that I listed at the beginning of the post. Here's his paragraph that caught my attention:
I realized that if I did raise the dead I would think that I have somehow arrived in that I have reached some cool spiritual level with God that He allowed me to raise the dead. WRONG!
We would probably see more people raised from the dead if people like myself stopped thinking that we are at a high level of spiritual maturity because it happened through us.

And I realized, that's exactly what I'd think.

So, in case you're wondering how things stand here's where I stand. I'm going to speak the impossible. I'm going to speak healing over the lump in my nieces arm. I'm going to speak peace to my mother who just called asking me to pray for my dad that is especially weak today. And I'm going to speak strength for his day.
And then I'm just going to trust God.
It's not too hard for God.

That's not to say I still don't want my faith to grow, or my love to be perfected. Because I do. But only because I want to grow. That's been my chant for awhile now, I want to grow I want to grow I want to grow. Whether God ever uses me for anything ever again, I still want to grow. I'm at peace concerning the gift of healing now. There's no sense of confusion or frustration anymore. Just a sense that I need to do what I'm suppose to do, and leave the rest in Gods hands.

Meanwhile, if any of you would like a free doorbell kit, just let me know. I won't be needing it anymore.