Sunday, November 11, 2007

It finally happened.

I was standing in the bathroom with my niece smoothing her hair before we left for church.
I'd just fed 3 kids, checked my online bank statement, made sure two kids made their beds, then helped the 3rd kid get dressed and straighten her bed.
I pondered my mortgage payment (which by the way, I'm very glad to have) and wondered if my car would last two more years. I replaced the batteries in the remote control and made a mental note that it's eating through batteries too quickly and I should replace the remote.

I picked up things around the house just before leaving for church and while I was doing so I randomly noted that the hammering sounds I'd been hearing (the kids were outside hammering any nails they found sticking out- for fun) the sound had changed, so I went outside and became "one of those people" as I stood outside looking stupefied saying "What on earth were you thinking?" The lecture made us later than usual leaving for church.

Church came and went, and then I found myself in a restaurant with an arcade and two kids asking for quarters. After explaining the change maker machine doesn't take debit cards I ended up telling the kids they'd have to pray for a miracle if they wanted quarters (fyi - by the time we'd left, they'd gotten to play 1 game for free just because the game began playing for them, they found 5 game tokens and got to play games with those, and they also found one bouncy ball somewhere in the arcade - miracles indeed).

I tried to remember if I'd paid my tithes that morning or not as I drove the two kids that aren't mine to their house. Hugs, and and fond farewells, then off we went, Little One and I back to the house. 10 minutes of the ride she cried saying she didn't want to take a nap when we got home. The last 10 minutes of the ride she slept. I carried her in to her bed, tucked her in and went back to work finishing a project around the house and straightening up. I saw a bug. Do I need to buy some bug spray next time I'm at the store?

Pour some apple juice before I wake up little one so she won't stand around crying for it while I'm getting it. Show her the project I'm working on and then feed her. Go to church. Miss the very end of church because little one had to go 'poo poo' as she announced in far too loud a loud whisper for any sentence containing the word 'poo poo'. Church comes and goes. Drive back to the other two kids house to take stuff they'd forgot to pack. Find out that a headlight is out.
Go to wal-mart, buy a new head light and then replace it while making sure that Little One isn't running into traffic.
Drive home, and spend the next hour and a half trying to console Little One enough that she can fall asleep.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

You can say it happened several years ago. By law maybe it happened when I was 17 or 18. But for me, it happened today. Today I understood what it means to have the weight of responsibility of so many little things on your shoulders. I understand better why so few people have joy. It's hard to find time for joy.

I'm not unhappy. Quite the contrary, I am very happy. But I see the difference between the adults heart and the childs heart just a little bit better now. I'm no longer the kid doing adult things, but an adult. How'd that happen?

I'd write more, but I need to start a load of laundry, feed the cat, check on Little One, and do a quick search of my fridge to make sure I do have some chicken in there that we can have tomorrow like I promised her. And hopefully tonight I won't fall asleep before I'm done praying.

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