23 minutes ago I returned a phone call and I found out that at 5:30pm Friday afternoon, my heart was going to get in a car and drive away.
Bell is going away.
5:30pm Friday evening.
Tears that I thought I had controlled are falling fresh just since I typed it out. Every single time, it just plain hurts. God.
5:30...it's less than 48 hrs. I wish she were leaving on a weekday so I'd have no choice but to get out of bed the next day and carry on. God.
She had such a crazy hard time adjusting that first week, I hope she somehow just slides right into her new environment. God.
Please let them keep her safe, let her know she's loved, teach her and hold her. God.
I hope she somehow learns about God, and grows up trusting in Him. Grab onto her God, and just don't let her go. Reach her, from now until she's old and gray and feeble and breathing her last. Send someone in her life that can tell her of You. All of this time I've been praying that I could be what You would have me to be to her. Now I'm asking that You could be what I won't be able to be to her anymore. oh God.
She is precious, she's really been the absolute best kid I've had so far. Her attitude and spirit just crawled all over my heart. ..
God. Help me not to break until 5:31.