Healing in the tank.

Last week I noticed that my toilet was running constantly.

By the end of the week I noticed it was running a l o t.

So last Saturday I went to Home Depot and picked up a whole kit to change out my tank innards since the city guy.. yeah... nearly two years ago... had told me that I needed to change my tank mechanics out for sanitary reasons. Apparently the balloon with the long metal arm is on it's way out.

And I certainly want my toilet to be in style.

So, finally on labor day I labored over my toilet. During Bells naptime, I started trying to take the stuff out of my toilet and get the tank off.
Naptime ended right around the time I realized the bolts were rusted on connecting the toilet to the tank.

Then Tuesday, after Bells bedtime, I pulled out a saw and slowly chopped the bolts off.

Did you know there is another nut that holds the bolts onto the tank?

Thankfully, I've got a 2nd bathroom, because mine has been inoperable all week long since Wed and Thurs and Friday there was just no moment when I could work on it.

Ok, I could have worked on it Friday after Bell left, but I wasn't about to. It didn't even occur to me.

So today, I started working on hacking through these last two nuts of resistance. I stopped after a little bit and walked away from the job.

Then, I opened the back door, went back into the bathroom, picked up the tank and walked outside with it. Standing on my deck, there was a moment of hesitation and then I dropped it down onto the concrete steps.

I expected a lot of mess, but not the noise. It was very loud.

I stood, looking at the mess - and I laughed.

And then I cried.

Then I laughed again while thinking "I can't believe I just broke a toilet tank."

It's fun being an adult. I don't think I would have been allowed to do that when I was 12.

I cleaned up the mess - and I just felt better. One broken toilet tank was the key to healing. Or at last jumpstarting it.

I love the unspiritual answers. The goofy things that we can do that can change your life, your day, your attitude. It's not all about prayer or bible reading, or just telling God all about the burdens. Sometimes, it's just about breaking something, ruining something, burning the last mortgage payment notice.

It's about the unspiritual human celebrations, and expressions. And it's a beautiful thing that sometimes I'm just too religious to give in to.

I think the same God that made this:

Knows that breaking a toilet tank would make me feel better.

And He loves me, all of us, in a way that we're just too stubborn, or strict to understand sometimes. He loves me. He's there, through every moment - including the ones we're too blind to see Him in. He's wonderful. He's trustworthy. He's way better than a dropped toilet tank.