Wednesday, August 23, 2006

He is in the house

I sinned yesterday. Granted, I sin so very much, but this was a specific "I know I'm doing something wrong" sin. I knew better, and I did it anyway.

Then at 2am this morning, I'm driving down the road listening to a song. I hear the words "My Treasure, My Priority". The song was speaking about God, and directly to me. Somehow a light of understanding went off, reminding me just who I serve. It's not a hands off God that doesn't care what I do as long as I repent every now and then. I serve a God that stood right next to me watching me sin. Was His heart breaking? or was He seething with Holy Anger? I get myself into so much trouble.

With the reminder of who I serve firmly implanted in my mind, I, as soon as I was finished working, went to correct my sin. With a repentant heart I ended up before God, once again discussing my failure.

It is so easy for me to stray off the path I'm trying to walk down. But here's what I got out of it.

First, I got a reminder that God is watching me/watching over me. He's protecting me even from myself. I'm not baptist, and I firmly believe that I can harden my heart and walk away from God, and the salvation promised me. I wouldn't accomplish it with my one deliberate sin, but I very well might start the process of hardening my heart, and closing my ears to the Holy Spirits correction.

Second, I was moved by His mercy. Moved by the very idea that God watched me sin, and then - knowing I wasn't responding to just plain old conviction - gave me the understanding that I needed to be willing to turn from my sin.

Third, He taught me once again that I cannot do this on my own. My salvation, my witness, my knowledge, my walk, my ability to minister, my fruit, all come because of His mercy and grace poured specifically into my life. And beyond that, He's not just doing a work in me and through me, He's doing it -quite often - despite me.

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