Thursday, February 15, 2007

I'm just thinking out loud

I think, a lot.

Generally the largest portions of my thoughts aren't even worth thinking, much less blogging about, but today is different.

Today I'm thinking about how good God is. I think He's gracious. I think people don't use the term 'gracious' enough, and they definitely don't use it often enough in reference to God. I think people are fools to try and live without Him.

I'm thinking about how much He's given me, and how much He's taken away. And how grateful I am that He's taken away all that He has. I'm grateful for the problems I've faced, grateful for the problems I haven't faced yet, and grateful that I can - and do - know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the problems I've yet to face He will carry me through.

I'm grateful that someone like Him, cared enough to find someone like me.

I'm thinking today about how wonderful it is to know Him, even as little as I truly do know Him. I'm overwhelmed by the small glimpses He's given me of how much He has to offer if I can only let go of the worldly barriers that hold me back. I'm excited and at the same time aggravated to know that He would do amazing, miraculous things with my life the more I let Him. The aggravation comes from knowing that for some insane reason I still hold back from Him.

I'm thankful that He's a God that there isn't any good reason to hold back from. I'm thankful for the relief that's there every time I remember that He's a God that I really can trust; trust with everything that is in me. In a world where I'm constantly analyzing peoples motives, their words, their actions, I don't have to analyze His except to see how I can imitate them.

I'm grateful for the people He has brought into my life, both past and present. For the things, both good and bad, that they've taught me. I'm most grateful for the ones that He meant to have the biggest influence on my life, because they are the ones that had to put up with my rather strange nature.

I'm grateful for my life. Whether you believe in predestination or not, I know I'm profoundly blessed that He has chosen me. I'm grateful that He didn't just bring me into His fold, but gave me work to do, and empowers me to do that work. I'm grateful for every time He's shoved me down and forcefully reminded me that I cannot do this on my own. And then He picked me up again and started working through me (again, and again and again).

I am a desperately seeking, surprisingly found (as in no longer lost), and utterly grateful soul. And I'm thinking you, everyone, should know that very same feeling.
That's just what I'm thinking.
I might not be thinking this tomorrow though. I get distracted by other things sometimes a lot. But regardless of what I think tomorrow, I'll still be that same soul.

And I can't tell you how glad I am.

1 comment:

Patrick Mead said...

You have just told the gospel story, and told it well. Thank you.