I've always been more than a little curious about the wrestling match described in the Bible where Jacob wrestles with a "man". It's found in Genesis 32 if you're interested in reading it for yourself - towards the end of the chapter.
But here Jacob is, wrestling, and he announces something to the effect of "I'm going to keep fighting you, until you bless me."
Thus, the man he's struggling with announces "Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed."
There's a tiny bit more conversation then it says "He blessed him there" and that's pretty much the end of it except for Jacobs grateful announcement that he's seen the face of God and lived.
That's the end.
But if I were Jacob, I'd be asking some questions.
The first one being "What on earth does that mean?"
As a prince I have power with God and with men? What's that mean? Does that mean God hears his prayers better? He's more likely to get a 'Yes" answer than the rest of us non-princely folks? What does that mean?
And how is it that after his saying that, Jacob automatically accepted that he had received a blessing even though it obviously wasn't something visible?
Did he feel different? Did he have some new inner knowledge that something had changed for him? And also, if the information that now as a prince he had power with God and man was the blessing... why does it later say that "he blessed him there".
Some of the retold histories in the Bible leave me scratching my head in wonder.
But here's the one thing that I do get from out of my confusion from the story.
When God says He's going to bless you, it doesn't always look like something tangible. It doesn't look like how I want it, or expect it, to look. The world might not be able to see it, and I may not feel different. But when Jehovah God announces that I am something, then I'm that something. If He announces I'm a princess among God and men, then I don't care that I'm still sleeping in the dirt the next night with a rock for a pillow - by goodness I'm a princess.
This lesson is important to me because I tend to expect certain things to look certain ways and I'll keep fighting or struggling or pushing until they look how I expect. But when God blesses me, or speaks something over me, then it is. It simply IS. Whether I can see it, feel it, taste it, experience it, understand it, acknowledge it, or believe it. I am exactly what God says I am.
I wish I understood the story better. But the lesson I've learned from it is just as valuable even though I still have questions.
You see I don't know how I've been blessed. Maybe the unique blessing I have in life is just the abundant joy that is overflowing to a degree that just doesn't make sense. Or maybe the blessing He's placed on my life is simply that of being a foster parent. But, though I don't understand it, I don't feel the urge to wrestle Him for it anymore. It is mine.