Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Because He loves me.

Tell me God isn't working on my behalf.
I can always use a good laugh.

So today I chance upon a woman and just being sociable I struck up a general conversation about the heat. (I was trying to sweat out a cold that I somehow caught when my brother developed "Allergies".) As the conversation usually goes I mention being from North Texas and the recent move up here to SA.

That's the point in every conversation where I have to take a deep breath and remember that God is more important than peoples opinions. Because everyone inevitably asks "What brought you to San Antonio?" To which, after that quick swallow for courage I explain how God led me to leave my home and move here.

Once that door was opened I enthusiastically began telling her how glad I was about the decision and how He's blessed me so much in so many ways since coming here.
She responded with understanding that God does unexplainable things like that. And we began talking about spiritual things for a bit and she asked if I had found a church in the area.

When I told her how much I was enjoying the worship at the church I'd been attending called "Victory", she turned with surprise.
Turns out I happened to be talking to Linda Myers, the church secretary.
By the end of the conversation I'd given her a job lead since she was looking for work, and she'd promised to get back to me with information on joining the church.

She was in a gym, 20 miles from her home but right next door to me. God must enjoy moving puzzle pieces around to see our reactions.

I'm no different from anyone else. I'm stupid and foolish, crazy and misguided far too often. But I have learned to believe in Him. Even when things don't look right. I'm sure it will be challenged many more times in my lifetime, and I'm sure I will struggle, and I don't doubt that at times the hurt might overwhelm me - especially when I begin fostering again.

But just because you forget something, doesn't make it any less true, or real.
God is a God to be trusted, to be believed in. He is who He is whether I accept it, believe it, trust it, lean on it, or not. The only person I hurt by doubting is myself.

I told someone recently how my joy in Christ made me somewhat nervous, because I wondered how I would do when the joy ended because life became hard. But then I remembered my circumstances, the constant struggle the never-ending wonder about tomorrow and it's problems and I realized that this isn't a shallow joy that I'm dancing in. But a deep, rich, sorrow-filled/trust laden joy that is overcoming whatever I face.

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
How he loves David Crowder Band

Enjoy His love.
Quit fighting Him.
Trust and obey. His plans are not our own.
But His plans bring me to an expected end.
And I can trust that whatever sorrow and trials I find along the way are for a purpose.
I can trust Him.
Even when it doesn't make sense.

Because He loves me.

And when I really began to believe that.

I didn't have to demand answers anymore.

I just had to trust that good or bad, happy or sad, He's in charge, and I can trust Him.

Because He loves me.

And that's why I love Him more than ever before.


Linda said...

So, I'm reading the cotton-headed-ninny post, then the comments, then had to look up the Genesis quote to be sure what it was and pondered your response and came back here and there was your new post!

(again I make with the unnecessarily long sentences!)

I'm also amazed at the things that happen coincidentally. Except that I do not believe in coincidences. So glad you have an answer! If you feel at home, then you are. How long you stay doesn't matter; it's what you do while you're there.

LInda said...

....and also.....

You owe me a letter!