I'll give you a little backstory to tell you why.
I have a job, a regular job. But I also work part time a man that runs the paper routes for the Dallas Morning News. I don't run a paper route myself, but I'm just a handy person that he keeps around so he can take days off while I do his chores. I tend to say yes to his requests because I really do enjoy the job. It's terrific work and if it paid better, I'd be more than happy to do it every day. The 2nd reason is simply because I really enjoy collecting money. Really. It's a hobby.
Years ago, I had run a full time paper route for this guy and had quit for only one reason, (and I forced myself to tell him honestly) I was quitting was simply because I knew God did not want me running the route.
I picked up one more job besides the other little things I do for my boss. He'd asked me to run someone elses route just one day a week so they would have a day off. I thought nothing of it and agreed easily, though I did tell him I wouldn't do it on Sundays as the lady was requesting but would agree to Saturdays if she was still interested. She was, and so I started doing her route on Saturdays.
It was around two weeks ago, while at 1am in the morning I was preparing to head out the door that God quite distinctly said "I thought I told you not to do that". I hadn't considered God in this equation. And I really hadn't thought of how He'd previously told me not to run a route. So, I said I'd quit. I'd already requested the next week off for my dads surgery, so I wasn't in a big hurry to talk to my boss. I definitely wasn't in a hurry to go to my boss again, telling him I was acting on Gods instructions. Right as it may be, and even though my boss goes to church and says he's a christian... I still hate looking like a crazy person.
Finally, just yesterday, I prayed for backbone and told my boss I wouldn't do the route after a certain date - and why.
Today, as it turns out, the girl informed him she was quitting and I wouldn't need to throw her route for her anymore.
1 day. If I had waited 1 more day, I would have lost my chance to be obedient. I would have lost my God-given opportunity to look like a crazy person.
I'm so grateful, and I feel blessed that I didn't miss that opportunity. I had said in my Sunday Post that I had been waiting to publish the posts I was writing until I felt ready to "be back" and today, I feel back. I feel different. I feel more ready. Though what that readiness is for I don't know.
I feel less effected by the things around me. Less changed by them. And more changed by God. I feel more settled and more sure of the path that I'm walking on. I hope my writing changes to reflect that. I hope my life changes to reflect that.