Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Learning to lean.

I've struggled with something for a very long time. It wasn't a huge thing, but it was something I definitely felt I didn't need to have in my life, but I had had the hardest time weeding it out.
And so I brought the situation to God, ironically enough that was something I'd failed to do up to that point, and suddenly my prayers took a different turn than I was expecting.

I was simply talking to God about it, when suddenly the idea of Him being my deliverer come to mind and I began praying in earnest that He would deliver me, that He would be my deliverer and bring me out.
It was a prayer He answered in more ways than one.

First, in the initial thing I brought to Him, I've still struggled with it, but every single time, I have overcome. I've never overcome it before. He is a faithful deliverer.

And second, I found freedom from something else as well. It's complicated and personal and I don't know how I would explain it even if I felt comfortable explaining it... so I'll simply leave it at this: I didn't realize that I was bound in this area and had been for a very long time. In many ways with this specific issue, I feel like a bird that has been caged for it's entire lifetime and now the gate has swung wide open. I'm staring at doorway to freedom, knowing I'm now free, but not sure what to do with it.

Immediately after that cage door opened though, it felt as though I walked into a storm. I had two choices, to either claim the truth God had given me that made me feel so free, or accept the troubling circumstances around me as truth. I admit, it took me a few troubled days to see the connection between the circumstance and the freedom, but when I finally saw it I made a decision to claim the truth that came with the freedom.


Sunday night, as we all gathered round the front to pray for my pastor, I remembered the words of a fellow blogger (I'd link to him but I'm not quite sure which one wrote about doing this). The word from the blogger was, when you're praying for someone, to first ask God how to pray. And then pray that way. So while everyone else was praying for my pastor, I was asking God how to pray, though I confess I told God several times that it would be much appreciated if He'd tell me while I was suppose to be up here praying. And finally, as clear as a bell, I knew God wanted me to pray in the Spirit. And I did. An experience that still surprises and thrills me.

My main point in writing all this for you and for me, is to document. I've been praying for big things, and yet at the same time, I realize how foolish I would be to dismiss God speaking to me as a 'small thing'.
In any trade it's important to know which tools to use. You don't pick up a hammer when you're putting in a screw (though I have occasionally) and you don't pick up a wrench when you need to cut a strip of wood. In that same way, I'm coming to see the many traits of Gods character as tools. If I run out of money when the bills are due, I can call on God my Provider. If I break my leg, I can call on God my Healer. When facing someone that wants to hurt me, I can call on God my Protector. BUT, in Gods wisdom, if I ask Him how to pray, He might tell me that I've run out of money and the bills are due because I was careless, and I should call on God my Counselor. If I've broken my leg, He might tell me that He's using this time for a special purpose to His glory and I should call on God my Peace giver. And, when facing an enemy, He may choose that I call on God my Strength who will see me through the battle, and not around it.

Gods perspective is not my perspective. That much is obvious. But it's also become obvious that God is willing to give me His perspective. He'll instruct me on how to pray, and which way to make it through to where He wants me to go. Much like He directed me to seek my deliverer, He is able to direct my paths.

Primarily, I write today because I don't want to forget. These are big things for me. Maybe you're farther along spiritually than I am, but don't ever take for granted that you've got the wisest counselor in the universe instructing and guiding you.

I'm so glad to know Him.


SLW said...

Wow, flyawaynet, that was a great post! You're learning some fantastic things, and passing along the benefit to others (a la 2 Corinthians 1:3-5). Thanks.

healingrevivalist said...

The fire tunnel is as you suppose. It is our ministry team forming a tunnel so that everyone can walk through to be prayed for and be filled with the Holy Spirit.

The Josephs and Marys were a reference to what was being talked about in the sermon about how Mary (the mother of Jesus) had to be super strong to do what God called her to do. She had to step out of the traditional role of a woman and trust God. Similarly, Joseph had to trust God when Mary came and told him that she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit with the savior of the world. He had to be strong to be able to empower Mary in a culture that did not promote women or give them power. (I feel like I am missing a lot of what was talked about and not really doing it justice)

So, the Josephs, or the champions of women (it actually was confusing at first to some women and had to be clarified as Joseph, "who would be only the men"...I'll admit I thought they were calling up the women), were called up as ones that will empower women to step into what God has called them to.

The Marys were called up to be released into the fullness of what God has for them and to realize that they have huge amounts of influence. (again, there was much more to this).

Hope that does a better job to explain it!