Today mom turned 60. Happy Birthday mom.
That's all.
In other news, I made someone mad at me yesterday. It's one of those moments where you haven't done anything wrong, but someone ended up hurt anyway, and now they're 'politely' not talking to me.
I'm sorry I hurt them. They're stressed and twisted up enough over some other situations in their life right now, I'd rather have not showed up on the radar.
I called the police tonight. Nothing happened, I wasn't even nervous - just doing my civic duty. Within 2 minutes I saw them shining their beams looking for people, and now they're still driving around. It's at least nice to know that, in the event of an actual emergency, they have a very fast response time. Note to wayward teens, don't come skulking around my neighborhood with bats after 10pm.
It's odd how you can start praying, and in the middle of your prayers things seem so important. And then you sit back down on your couch, or lay down to sleep, and you just can't help but think that nothing is important.
Question... if you knew marriage could be a wonderful thing, a happy, enduring, life-changingly magnificent thing ---- BUT, everyone around you was barely sustaining their marriage and in general they were all only marginally happy that they were married - would you still get married hoping for that life-changing wonderfulness?
My question actually has nothing to do with marriage. It's just an example. People who have tasted Gods presence can only try and give you an idea of just how wonderful, peaceful, joyful, and deep that presence is (and they only have 'tasted' not feasted in his presence)...but every where you look you just can't find that being lived out - would you really want to chase after that presence?
It seems impossible. The church in general just keeps on saying 'keep digging', but the entire church world in general seems to just keep digging and never finding anything. It makes everything seem so pointless. It makes you want to put the shovel down.
When my niece and nephew were smaller, whether it was teaching them to walk, or swim, I always tended to do the same thing. First you gear them up to get to you, then as they get closer you back away just a little bit so they go farther than they expected. In the end, you always catch them before they fall, or wear themselves out and go under water or something.. but ultimately, at the end of the day, they had reached you.
But in Christianity, it just feels like you're forever swimming, and He keeps backing away.
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2 comments:
In my early walk I met three men each at a different church. There was something different about these men. There was a kindness adn peace about them that was not common. Despite the trials that I knew were happening in their lives these men were consistant in their joy. I was awed and overcome, and inspired. I don't think I have acheived that level of peace, but I can not think of a better thing to strive for. BUT I have learned that wanting to be more should not take the joy from who I am now adn that I can be at peace because God is at work in me and I am yet unfinished.
This walk or marriage is not about what it is, but about what it can be. It is about hope.
stand still?
what a good idea.
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