In the last 33 days I've said it at least a couple of times. Sometimes the faith is a choice.
When your heart wants to be anxious, you choose to be at peace.
When your mind wants to race, you choose quiet.
When your body is restless you choose rest.
When your soul is tormented you choose trust.
I don't mean to make it seem like faith is something entirely up to you. Of course it's only possible through God. But we're our biggest obstacle to faith. I know I'm certainly my biggest obstacle.
I could simply sit back and choose faith, or I can allow my mind to race, my heart to be anxious, my body to be restless and my soul to be tormented.
You let yourself do things. You let yourself fear. You let yourself worry. You let yourself doubt.
But God wants you to choose Him. Choose faith. Choose to believe when the it's only the substance of "hoped for" and evidence of "not seen".
Choose to walk away from fear and doubt.
Choose to simply hold on to what God has said.
Choose to walk away from anger.
Choose to simply hold on to what Jesus promised.
Choose to walk away from doubt.
Choose to simply hold onto the fact that Jesus loves you. He loves you.
That love, if you really believe in that love as He has demonstrated it, the depth and height of it, it gives you confidence to be at peace no matter what comes your way.
And the peace that comes from knowing, and embracing the fact that you are loved beyond your ability to grasp, it's not that you sit there forcing yourself to be silent and pretending to trust. You instead look at the anger, and compare it to what Jesus promised and you find that somehow you can't be angry anymore.
I feel as though I'm repeating myself but this message seems important to me. Maybe it's simply most important for me to embrace myself. Because too often I look at the doubt, and then I look at God and somehow the doubt looks easier to hold onto. It's just too unbelievable that one such as He, could love one such as me.
But, the truth is still the truth. No matter how much I doubt it, no matter how much I allow anger to rule, no matter how much I dig in and wallow in a pit of fear. Sometimes, when all those things merge in and threaten to overwhelm me, I have to just remember which things are really stronger.
And I can know, and trust in the fact that those things that are too big, too wild and difficult to hold onto, can hold onto me. He holds me when I can't hold onto Him.
He's bigger than me. So much bigger. But I can find my peace in the fact that as small and insignificant as I am, I'll never be too small for Him to hold onto me.
I'll never be out of His care.
If that doesn't generate peace, nothing can.