Your grace has found me just as I am.
Empty-handed but alive in your hand
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of Your majesty.
Those are the lyrics to the song Majesty by Michael W. Smith.
In the video I'm watching right now, he sings that song and the follows it up with "I surrender all"
I thought about the words "empty-handed but alive in Your hand" and I was thinking about surrender. It seems like the opposite of faith. It's the moment when you see everything is entirely hopeless, your efforts are hopeless, your struggle is hopeless; your only option left - with any chance of survival - is to throw down your weapons and surrender to your pursuer.
It's amazing how many weapons we keep stashed on our person though.
But when we finally raise our arms in surrender to Christ our endless Pursuer, we unthinkingly keep back some weapons.
He says He loves us - and we tell Him there are conditions to His love.
He says He will cleanse us from all unrighteousness - we tell Him once an addict always an addict.
He says goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives - we counter that it is instead abuse and sorrow that will follow us.
He says we will be counted as His children - we say we are just; just a housewife, just a child, just a Sunday school teacher, just a plumber, just a nurse, just a new Christian, just a homeless bum.
We hold onto these weapons of protection. They protect us from embracing a whole world that doesn't make sense to us. It's a world that offers us love despite our worst sins. It offers us love despite our very best days as well. It doesn't care about any of that. Because compared to the goodness of God the worst and best of ourselves is so small it's worse than petty.
Those weapons we so diligently guard, and hide protect us from the scary idea of having faith. Believing in the impossible. HOPING for the impossible.
So we hold onto those weapons.
Surrendering to faith is a scary idea. It means that I can't harp on my imperfections anymore, because faith says "In my weakness He is strong."
Surrendering to faith means not accepting that a circumstance can only change as much as you physically can change it.
A full surrender to faith means surrendering to Gods viewpoint of you. It means accepting that your value isn't based on what you do, but in the One who loves you. It means accepting that your past no longer defines you, but Christ Himself is where your definition comes from.
A full surrender to faith means surrendering to hope.
So many of us are impostor rebels in His family. Attempting to pass ourselves off as trusting children, while we cling to the weapons of fear, and anger, distrust and failure.
We fool ourselves maybe, and others as well, but we don't fool God. Not for a moment. And that is why He never stops His pursuit. Forever chasing, forever wooing, forever challenging our views and perceptions, waiting for us to surrender each hidden fear, each hidden hurt. Until we're finally we're created.
We don't suddenly become as a child, oozing innocence. No. We become the rescued. We become those who have been dragged though our own personal hell on earth and found the arms of a loving Savior. We become desperate, but now we're desperate for God. We're desperate for His presence and His words. Our hearts literally beat with gratitude as we realize that we've truly been rescued, saved not just from our situations but from the continued hell we put ourselves through.
We become the worshipful children of our Sovereign Lord.
All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!