Monday, January 16, 2006

Crawling to the cross

I spent the weekend crawling out from under my desk, and over to the cross. Where I had to humbly apologize for my foolishness in taking my problems and trying to resolve them with what God probably laughingly describes as "my own strength". We both know I don't have any capabilities when it comes to fixing my own problems. And the stress of the situations actually made me late for work two times in a 6 day period. And I'm never late for work.
But now, God's got my problems, and I'm slowly trying to relax again. And I went back to church. My church has changed in the past few weeks, because while I was at home hiding under my bed, apparently my pastor resigned. I don't know him well, because in the two months I've attended services there he has preached possibly twice. Another man in the congregation has been preaching. And when the pastor resigned immediately the other man was voted in as pastor.
I talked to the new "Pastors Wife" after our church fellowship Sunday. And I was left wondering if she wasn't doing the exact same thing I had done. Attempting to resolve some things, or fill a role under her own strength. Then I wondered if this isn't a more popular problem than I think. Every Christian will happily tell you that they trust in God, and they know they can't do it without God.

But, wouldn't we be a much calmer and stress-free bunch if we actually did put that into practice? Or is it that we believe God can't do it without US? Do we truly believe that God wants someone to fill this role, to be certain things for a certain group of people, and that if we don't fulfill that role somehow, all those people will be left adrift? I don't think so.
I believe, if we'd just sit back and follow God's promptings, we'd discover that everything was taken care of. When God wants something done, He knows how to accomplish it a lot better, and faster than we do. And when we actually TRUST in Him, and let Him lead our actions to resolve a situation or to fill the role we're trying so desperately to fill, I believe we'll find that we can do more than we ever thought. Because when we don't spend so much time worrying about whether we'll be Mr. or Ms. Perfect, and simply act on someone elses orders, the responsibility becomes far easier to bear.
Christ promised His yolk is easy, and His burden is light. So if we're aching with a horrible yolk, and struggling under a heavy load, wouldn't that mean we're missing a step in the process?
I attended a church fellowship recently, I made some sandwiches and some little lemon cake bites, dropped it off on a table and was 'ready'. My role had been fulfilled. With very little effort the task had been accomplished. Everyone ate and enjoyed themselves, and then the moment came when everyone was done and the cleaning had to be taken care of. I didn't have a clue what they wanted me to do, where things went, or who they went to. So I put lids on things, washed some dishes, wiped some tables, and pushed some chairs in. There isn't any stress in that, and it's just a matter of knowing that you're not in charge, someone else is, and so you just do what you can.
It's got to be one of my strangest analogies yet, but I am equating that to life. We're not in charge. God knows where everything goes, and who should get what dish. We just have to do the easy things, what we can with the understanding that someone else is in control. As you grow, you'll realize that this bowl goes to Mrs. Smith, and you'll be of more help. And you'll also get direction from the person/Person in charge about something extra you could do that you wouldn't know about on your own. It's not hard. Imagine though, how it would of looked to the lady in charge of the fellowship yesterday, had I taken the burden on myself. If she were in charge and I acted as though the whole success of the dinner depended on me? It would of looked ridiculous to anyone watching.
Try and imagine God feeling the same way. We're not in charge. He knows we never COULD be in charge. Stop trying to run something you have no business trying to run. Let the boss run the show.


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