Sunday, October 07, 2007

What a strange post.


Sometimes it's fun and easy to say crazy things. I told my little one this afternoon that an elephant must have snuck into the room and stole away all our markers. It was fun.

This is not.

Something is happening at my house.

Standing outside my house in the evening I've seen shadows of people in the windows of my house. There's no one in my house. There's something in my house. And most especially my bedroom.

Walking into the house, my stomach begins to churn. By the time I've been home a few hours I've usually already begun throwing up. If I spend that much time specifically in my bedroom, I get sharp pains in my sides, arms and neck. I leave my bedroom and the pain stops, but the sickness continues. I leave the house, and after a couple of hours I'm just fine. I've napped in my car just trying to get some rest. And at night, I'm now sleeping in my living room on the couch.
This is by far the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

This morning at church, the text for the sermon was from Revelation 3, and my eyes wandered over to Revelation 2:25. "Only hold on to what you have until I come." it says. And I realize I've lost ground over the last weeks. A lot of ground.
I'm afraid in my house. I'm literally afraid. I know that I have seen things and I've just completely worn out. If this were a physical war I'd be buried by now.

I've been told to read the scripture out loud by several people and I haven't. At least not in the main room that's scared me away. And as I was praying tonight I thought about why I wouldn't read out loud. The scripture came to my mind about the unclean spirit that left, but came back seven times worse and I realized how frightened I am of making the situation worse.

I almost called my pastor this morning to say I wouldn't be at church. I was still throwing up just before I walked out the door. But I realized what a scary trap that was if safety was outside my door but I was too sick to get out the door. I don't want to live like this. And the concept of what is happening here seems unbelievable to me. I don't know that I'd believe it if someone else told me this story. I'd come up with rationalizations. But now that I've experienced this week I don't know that I'd ever disbelieve a story about demons again.

I want my peace back. I want rest. But more than anything, I don't want to be afraid anymore.

I'm not trying this tonight. But tomorrow night I'm going to start fighting back. I want my room back. I want my house back. I want my life back. I want my power back.


Ted M. Gossard said...

I'll be praying for you, sister. And I'll try to get other people to pray for you as well. This kind of thing can happen.

I wonder if you have shared this with your pastor. Even though I've been on the charismatic side, a bit, and am not opposed to it, in fact I think the New Testament bears something of it out- I do believe some churches get carried away in seeing demons everywhere. But it's just as dangerous to deny their existence and activity.

Again, will be praying.

Anonymous said...

i will be praying for you.

let those around you know...those that will be praying for you also.

ane a well seasoned believer that will be willing to walk beside you through this...and i emphasize..."through" this.

luke 12
4"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 6Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

romans 8
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,[d] 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,[h] Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Anonymous said...

i am sorry that i can not be there for you...i can only be here for you.

lots of love

One Sided said...

You don't need your power back.

The power you need is there.

You need to rely on that power with a complete understanding of who is in charge and a complete trust in who is able.

What can the other side cast against you that God is not able to overcome?

Scary, you bet, but the distraction of the evil one comes in what ever form most suits its need. If you were easily swayed by pretty shiny things, then your problems would come to you in that form.

This visualization is the most distracting for you, so it is what is used.

It is all a trick, and were they to tear the house down around your ears, it would be to their loss for what they are after you have alredy given to God. SO now all they can try to take is Peace of mind and Joy, As far as I can tell there is no reason to let then have that.

SO IN Jesus name, tell then that it is your house and it is your room and demand that they vacate and ignore them untill they see the futility of their efforts for they have already been defeated adn you are already the victor.

Jennifer said...

Praying for you, and asking others to do the same. Do not fear. Your Beloved Saviour Jesus is with you.