Music is wonderful.
If you have never sung a prayer, you really should try it. Even if you don't feel you sing well, sing a prayer. It's a song you write yourself, doesn't have to rhyme, or have a catchy tune to it.
And it's just a wonderful moment.
For several minutes tonight I simply sang the words "I need" over and over and over. It slowly evolved until there I was singing how I 'needed' His touch, His presence, His favor, His mercy, His knowledge, and on the list went.
An hour later, I simply had to keep playing (the piano - for those that don't know me) and I could just close my eyes and enjoy the sweet Spirit.
And all this happened from the confines of my living room. The very room that just one week ago I would have said it was impossible to find rest in.
During this past month, I'd been having a recurring nightmare. I won't piece together all of it for you, but at the end, just before waking up I would desperately be trying to say the name of Jesus. Only, using all my strength, I was still barely croaking out a whisper. Panic would set in because I knew I needed to say the name, but I simply couldn't - no matter how hard I tried - get it to sound off any louder.
I've got a lot of thoughts I've taken away from this past month. A lot. But the one that really stands out to me tonight is my whisper. Even whispering the name of Jesus is strong enough. I kept trying to do something more spiritual, something big enough to get Gods attention and scare the devil. In my dreams, the fear always set in because I couldn't yell loud enough, strong enough, to make a difference. But God can hear me whisper.
That's not to say me and my whispering changed my situation here, because relief didn't come until someone else came in and claimed it. Or maybe it was those whispers that had God send those people into the situation. Either way, He heard my whispers.
There are a lot of prayers I've failed to pray. Every now and then a large need will come to my attention and I'll mark it off to pray later when I've got some time to devote to it - even if it's just a few minutes. In the middle of answering phones, or greeting customers, that's not the time to pray for something as important as a baby that might not make it through the day. But I dismiss that moment that I have available to do all that I can. I miss that moment to whisper a prayer.
A couple of weeks back, I worked several hours at something that a man with a backhoe would do in less than an hour. And I still certainly didn't accomplish as much as him. I still did it, stubbornly misquoting a verse about not despising small things and yet I haven't treated something as important as my prayers the same way.
I felt convicted tonight as I told my Father of need after need after need that I have not of things, but of Him. I need. I need Him. I want Him to be in every breath, every thought, every single fiber of my being. But to get to that part, I need to give Him every breath, every thought, and every fiber of my being including my whispers. When I say I want Him in my life... life sounds awfully BIG. So I mentally assume I'll give Him the big things in my life. But it's asking His presence in the small things in your life that is the most challenging. Because it's so easy to discount the giving of those things.
God, help me remember to whisper.