I've almost come to think that it's impossible for me to walk away from God. I don't believe in once saved always saved, I believe I can choose to forsake God, but I've discovered that no matter how loud I rant, no matter how bitterly I write, I still begin and end each day yearning for God.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I need God. Every hour, every second, every minute of every moment. I need God. It's so frustrating.