November 17th to March 23rd

This is a story of a miracle. My God can do anything. I can do anything my God wants done.

Many, many moons ago, before I was even 18 years old, I gained access to a credit card.

And I was an idiot.

I didn't buy diamonds and furs or such, but I used it to buy things that I wanted when my paycheck ran out: eating out, gifts, etc.

Fast forward 5-6  years to an 18 wheeler plowing into the back of my newly purchased Mazda, purchased on credit..... and it was deemed my fault so I was liable for $9,000-ish in damages.

By that time though I had wizened up at least a bit and I used balance transfer checks to get everything onto one credit card and at a fantastic interest rate (3.25%). Which lasted until I received two foster babies and $1,000 in daycare bills in one month made me miss a payment. Missing a payment means you lose the interest rate - mine skyrocketed to 22%

Fast forward to 2011.... roughly 13 years after I began my credit adventure. The credit card hasn't been used in years and is simply a draining nightmare hole that sucks money from my bank account. I'd made payments of at least $300 a month  every single month (except for the month I missed years ago). The MINIMUM amount ever sent in during a month was $300. Do you know what $300 a month is for $13 years? I do. It's $46,800. And at least $13,000 more in payments was expected.

That number makes me sick. I don't think the amount actually spent could have even been $20,000 when you count the car as well.

But there I was in 2011, the card is shut off, and I'm 2 years into a 5 year payment plan at 6% interest and I'm driving home from work when I decided something had to be done. I yelled (because that's just how I show God I'm serious I guess) and I told God that nothing was impossible with Him. I told Him that He was asking me to be a single mom WITH DEBT and that that shouldn't be. I told Him He owned the cattle on a thousand hills and that I'd learned my lesson. I had been fiscally responsible for years now but the weight of paying for an old mistake was too much of a burden for me to continue to bear. I told Him I NEED OUT OF DEBT and that He'd promised I could ask things of Him and He'd listen. Well, this is what I want God. This it is.

Even today, I earn around $100 more than what my bills are. With the extra $100 I hopefully get to buy gas for the car (not allotted in the budget) and food for my body (also not allotted in the budget). So I made the decision that I was going to label my debt as part of Precious' adoption fees (because as a fiscally responsible person I understood that I honestly couldn't afford to adopt her and still pay off my debt every month). I would trust God to let me buy nothing else - even this adoption - without having paid for it first.

Fast forward to November 17th 2011.
The miracle begins.

I ripped the page November 17th, 2011 off my calendar and I wrote on it the full amount of my remaining debt ($11,225) I added in an attorney fee that I expected to have to pay in Jan ($1500) and said "Lord, this is what I need to adopt Precious."

December, I received notice that my renter was moving out - so February I had to pay both my rent, and my mortgage. I also had to make a costly trip North to clean/fix up and hire a manager to show the property for me and place several weeks of ads in the paper. Roughly estimating I'm going to say that event cost $900 - and bear in mind all of my estimates, to make sure I don't over inflate this, will be estimated low.

On two separate occasions I had to go to the store and purchase new clothes for the babies, each of those trips was always at least $200.
Christmas rolled around and while I was more frugal than usual I still spent over $300 in gifts.
I lost 6 days of work due to Precious having RSV in Jan - $500
I finally got a renter for the house only to be told the gas company won't turn on the gas because of a leak and the whole house has to be re-piped $791.
So, not counting my standard bills, which take up all but $100 of my paycheck - the amount of money that I'd need to come up with before her adoption is $15,616.

$15,616.  GOD

I considered trying to get a second job but felt God clearly against it - if this is my ministry how am I fulfilling it by having someone else watch the kids while I go work for more money?

So I didn't.

March 23rd, 2012, Friday, I made my very last payment.

I. made. my. very. last. payment.

EVERYTHING has been paid. Paid on time. Paid in full. I was hemorrhaging thousands of dollars a month and I don't even bring in thousands of dollars a month. Yet payment after payment after payment was made. Quite literally, according to math between my job and the subsidy support for the children, I didn't even make $12,000 since November 17th... yet somehow I paid $15,616 AND also paid all of my bills which previously took all but $100 of my paycheck. I didn't cut corners, I even ate out more than usual the last few months. I generally felt like there was a surplus and didn't even feel pinched or worried that I wouldn't make a bill payment.

I told a friend last November that God wouldn't let me make payments after Precious was adopted because that would mean that I did it on credit. That I couldn't afford her. She can't be mine until she's paid off (of sorts, you know what I mean). Even as I said it I wondered if I was being foolish, if I was saying words I'd have to eat later on.

November 17th to March 23rd is 127 days. 127 days divided by $15,616 is $122.96 a day.
You tell me what God can't do.

As a side note, it looked like I was going to finish in April. I'd been watching all the numbers and I thought April might be the month I finished and I was disappointed. I told God that He'd get more glory if it was March, because March was sooner and April, for some reason just felt less miraculous. March. He'd get more glory if it was in March. But the numbers just weren't there. Then, just a few days after I talked to God about that I happened to dig through a stack of mail and, just before throwing one envelope out, for some reason I decided to open it.

It was from my mortgage company.

They were returning overpaid escrow funds to me.

$402.

And I stood there, holding it, and wept - because I knew,,,, God liked March too.

There is nothing, nothing, nothing too big, too hard, too impossible for God. I don't have to understand the miracle, I just am living here as a survivor of the impossible who never once saw anything but ease and comfort during the last 127 days. I can't begin to describe how my faith has grown, how fully I just want to shout His praise. I'm free. After 13 years of a burden of debt, I'm free. And it's all simply because I was willing to do what He wanted.
He made something impossible happen.
I'd have more likely expected to see an amputees leg regrown, than to imagine my debt could be paid off this quickly after November. But He didn't just pay off my debt. He paid the debt, but He made the numbers more astounding, and then He paid it off.
My God, He is a mighty mighty God. And I am passionately thankful to have experienced these past months because every time you go through something like this, words like "My God is a mighty God" change. They become deeper, more rooted, more profoundly true in your mind, and heart, and spirit.

My God, my Father, my Friend, My Provider.
My All.
HE IS ABLE.

Don't be content with wine miracles.

It was Jesus' first recorded miracle. He made water into wine. Pretty cool miracle. I'm sure the hosts, the servants, and everyone else who knew the story were duly impressed and in wonder.
But do you know what happened from that miracle?

Some big important man of the feast said to the bridegroom of the feast, "Hey, most people serve the best wine first, but you served it last."

Excuse me, but... big whoopee.

And actually, my earlier statement isn't 100% accurate because later on in that same chapter it mentions that many believed when they saw the "miracles that He did". So, while it sounds like there was more than 1 that day, I won't say that this whole water/wine thing didn't sway people as well. It'd sure sway me if I was on the fence.

But honestly, He made a beverage.

I don't want to discount miracles, even the small ones because goodness knows I've needed a thousand small miracles and God has come through for me in ways I was surprised at. I'm sure this bridegroom was ever so thankful that Jesus performed a miracle that saved his little mini-crisis of running out.


But I think it's time we expected something bigger.

Because the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in us.

WE can see the dead raised.
WE can see the deaf hear.
WE can see the blind see.
WE can see the lame walk.
WE can see the sick healed.
WE can see the very sun stand still.

Every time I get this familiar longing in me to see something, to go deeper, to experience the Holy of Holies in a greater fullness than before it never fails that there'll be a message come forth in the church service that almost seems to be directed right at me. And it's always the same:
You have free access to the throne. What is stopping you?


And I want to stomp my foot and scream "I DON'T KNOW!"

I honestly don't know what stops us. I've sat in attendance at funerals praying the dead will rise, and I've sat at the bedside of sick children just praying a fever would go down. Occasionally I get a result but only on small scale. Trust me when I say I would have blogged if dear old Sister Harp had popped up out of her casket. You'd have heard.


There is more to be had. Yet so many of us are just happy with "the car started!" and "the washing machine didn't spew this time!" or "I paid the water bill!"

All great. All good. All gifts of assistance to us in everyday ordinary practical needs.


There is more to be had.


So I want to encourage anyone and every, to be willing to be scared to death. Steps of big faith create bigger faith. Quitting that job when He tells you to - even though it's a rough economy and you don't know what you'll do, will scare you.

Moving away from your family and friends when you have no job lined up? Scary.

Committing that large sum of money when you don't think you can actually afford it? Scary.

Walking away from a live-in relationship when don't know where you'll sleep that night? Scary.

Going into a hospital room and not praying that the person will feel better, but commanding by the power of God that the person be healed? Stinking overwhelmingly terrifying.


But it's doubtful you'll ever see the big miracles unless you're willing to operate using only the substance of things hoped for. Faith.


At some point in your Christian walk - and if you've been a Christian for any amount of time I'd be willing to bet it's already happened at least a few times - God is going to point you in some direction that doesn't sound sane. In the past, you may have shrugged it off simply saying "Well that's a crazy thought!"


Listen next time.


Do it - even if you feel ridiculous or your friends and family think you've taken leave of your sense.

God can do incredible things with willing vessels.
(A.K.A. Crazies)

Testify - I saved 418 Dollars or more by switching to Jesus.

So today I went online to just check my bank balance and write a few transactions down and I discover, much to my surprise, a bunch of red ink all over my account. My paycheck had not gone into my account. I checked into it and discovered the last two digits of my account “29” had accidentally been typed “10”. The money was nowhere.

I’d also spent the weekend in Whitesboro messing with my rent house, racking up charges for people to haul away trash, clean carpet, stops for gas, stops for food, and charges to newspapers to put ads showing my property for rent.

All in all, at my last check, thanks to the paycheck not being deposited I had 11 overdraft charges of $38 each.

I had money in savings that would have easily covered it, but, not knowing anything was amiss with my paycheck there was no reason for me to think about moving the funds.

In case you don’t have a calculator handy 11 x 38=$418.

First things first I moved savings over to keep myself from racking up more charges.

Then reality set in. I could have cried. I literally could have just sat down and cried I was so disappointed that something like this would happen when I’d been hoarding my savings so carefully. But as I was driving between my two banks getting money from one to put in the other I remembered that God hadn’t failed me yet. So the money was gone, so Compass "per company policy" might only refund 2 of the 11 charges. So what? God was still in control and God wasn’t going to worry about my savings being gone when He provided for my needs as always. Once I remembered that I let go of the fear and frustration attached to the money and I began praising God. (And by praising God I mean I was singing God the chorus to the oldies song “I love you more today than yesterday” thanks to Eric from work for sending me that song and getting it stuck in my head.

Then I came back to work.

Joe from Compass was on the phone and he wanted me to know that a man with my incorrect account number had come in on Saturday to close his account. Literally, this man showed up and the bank tried to give him my money which had been accidentally deposited into his account. And HE SAID NO. He said it wasn’t his money. He turned down nearly 700 dollars. So the bank had begun investigating the error.

Which also took one less obstacle out of the way as I tried to convince Compass to transfer money from his account to mine. ;)

They’re going through the process to transfer the funds into my account and Joe also says that because of the nature of the error every overdraft fee will be refunded to me.

There is more to the story, but I will tell it in a later post because it veers off from the point of this story. But I just want to add - I'm so thankful I reached the "trusting God" point before I got back to work and the situation changed. It was a strange sense of joy that rushed in as I praised God in the middle of a situation that just STUNK. And God moved on my behalf. I gained favor with every person I talked to. I was blessed. But I found the joy before the miracle. And there seems to be something valuable and necessary in that. Because the joy is in God, not in good situations, not in a lack of problems, not even in money. It's just in God. In the middle of a temporary shortage of over $1100 dollars, I found joy.

It was worth so much more than $1100.

Pass out the fish!

I've been considering miracles because, simply, Gods been working on my behalf. And as I pondered how to act, and live, while living within Gods provision I pondered one idea that screams inside my head with it's own importance.

You have to pass out the fish!

When the little boy showed up with his few little fish and tiny bit of bread, Jesus took hold of it and it instantly became potential for a miracle.
Jesus wasn't holding one loaf of bread and suddenly was surrounded by piles of bread.

The miracle began when the disciples handed out piece of bread, after piece of bread. Piece of fish after piece of fish. The miracle begins when you begin using what God hands you and trust Him to make it last through all 5,000 people.

Whatever your situation is, whatever you are facing, whatever you need God to provide - use what He's given you. Pass out the fish. Pour the oil. Use the last bit of meal.
Use it. Use it trusting, believing, knowing in faith that He who has provided will provide.

Gods response to repentance.

So I repented.
I told God I couldn't handle the stress, and worrying about it. I told Him that I couldn't fix or change, or better the situation at all. Only God could make it workable. I told Him I needed His help, I needed His wisdom, I needed His peace, I needed Him.

That was Sunday.

Monday morning I went in to work to find an e-mail from my boss waiting for me. She is starting the process to make me a permanent employee. She's starting this process more than 2 weeks early, so it might hopefully be accomplished near my 90 day mark.
Others have waited months past their 90 days to get this notice. The girl I hired with didn't get this notice. I got this notice.

Monday night, my heart had completely changed towards a house that I hated. I called them up to see if I could look at it, they made special arrangements for me (including giving me the code to the lockbox so I could let myself in - which in San Antonio isn't something that's usually even considered according to my co-workers who were in shock).

I looked at the house, deemed it not only good, but really nice.

So today I called them and asked them to take $50 off the rent. After some consideration, they said no, but gave me the information that they cover the water/sewage bill. Something that accounts for pretty much $50.
They aren't going to charge me the application fee.
I don't even have to apply since they'd received my application for the house I'm currently living in.
It's May 26th, and they are going to hold the house until July 1st for no additional fees.

So Sunday I went from scared about the future to leaving it in Gods hands.
It's now Wednesday, and I have a house, and a job.

To say I'm humbled is putting it mildly. Gods hands are where this should have been the whole time. I can't tell you how wonderful He is. But you can sure imagine from stories like this.
He's more than wonderful.

Growing...

I don't know what someone else would get from this... but I just have to write this to document what God is doing in me.

Sunday, the instant the song service began at church I felt something big and exciting was about to happen. Every single song just drug you deeper and deeper in. It was powerful, and wonderful, and addictive. By the time it was over you simply wished it could go on forever.

Part way through though, God told me to do something. He's told me before, and the answer was always 'no'. He told me to go to the front to worship. To get out of my row, walk down the aisle to the front of the church and worship.

No God, anything but that. They'll think I'm just doing it to be seen, to be dramatic and all "look at me".

Go.

God, I just can't. Not that. You know what they'll think, I can't draw attention to myself. This isn't about me; it's suppose to be about You.

Go.

God, if You really want me to go, You're going to have to give me the strength to do it because I don't have it. I can't do it God, I just can't.

And then we began singing a song "Here in Your presence". I'll give you the words and a link to the video at the end of the post; but the words that really hit me were the words "Here in Your presence we are undone."

And by my refusal to do as He asked the contrast to my saying "we are undone" put lie to my words. I hated my refusal. I hated the things about me that held me back from anything that God would ask of me. I hated my weak self. And I begged God, even as I felt a quake of fear at how God might answer, I begged Him to actually "undo" me. To make me "undone" as I had just sung.

Get me there God, somehow.

And just as I had talked about before, it's the first step into the unknown that is the very hardest. My arms were raised and I took one step out into the aisle. And I literally don't remember how I got to the front. Once that first step was made I was there. And, I do want to add that once I got there not one thing else was more important to me than worshiping God.

I suppose I won't go into further detail except to say that the Spirit of God was wonderful in that place, and praise - hungry, holy praise went forth to Him. I'd have to say it was one of the best experiences in my life. One I hope to repeat only to greater extents and deeper depths as I continue living my life for Him.

God is freeing me. Bit by bit. Control by control. And I can't help but sometimes think how incredible it is to be the clay with potential that is only limited by the Hands that form me.

As promised, the words to the song followed by the video:

HERE IN YOUR PRESENCE
by New Life Worship (Desperation Band)

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away
Here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display
Here in Your presence

Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

The God of too much... again.

Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.

Just wanted to write a quick note... in a previous blog I mentioned the specific issue of gas money to get home for Thanksgiving. There was an amount in my head when I wrote that. That was written on Tuesday.

Today, Saturday, via a few different sources as has been the constant habit in the last 5 months, I have a little over double what I need. And that's not counting the one craigslist item that someone hasn't picked up yet. Yet I have a little over double. And it's also not counting the offers I received from blog readers and friends to pay my way for me.

God is incredible. I wouldn't have been upset to not make it home. This is going to be our first Thanksgiving that mom doesn't know who we are. Missing that wouldn't have bothered me a bit. So I suppose I might admit that I was smirking a little bit as I said I would leave it in Gods hands. I may have been hoping... but God knows best. And He provides exceedingly and abundantly. As I think about it now I have to smile as I think about how the post I had written about it talked about how God has given me too much. And here I say I need a certain amount and He gives me double. Again, too much.

He is the God of too much. There is abundance in my home today. Perhaps I'm the only one who can see it, appreciate it, revel and relax into it, but bountiful abundance it certainly is.

Now I'm just hoping Proverbs 28:25 doesn't come true!

He wipes away my guilt and shame and lets only His love remain.

I want my first post back to be about a small miracle that happened recently. I'd like to share with you, because I think it's important to recognize God can do these things, and just because we feel certain things does not make those feelings true.

Sunday, November 1st my parents drove off to go to church.
I then packed all my things together, loaded them in my car and headed to church myself. This was the day I was to head back to San Antonio and the day would begin with pretending it was just another day.

We were entirely unsure of how my mom would react to my leaving, so it was decided that the best course of action was to simply not tell her and not let her see me leave.

I had spent the entire weekend struggling with the decision. I felt horribly guilty, imagining that she would somehow come to her right mind and realize that I had left without saying goodbye.
And then topping the mound was a conversation with a friend of my parents who could only express her shock and disappointment that I would abandon my parents. She told me of my parents disappointment as well.

If you know anything about me, you more than likely know how addicted to obligation and responsibility I am. The words spoken to me ate at me like a cancer. I struggled with guilt that was so heavy I could hardly sleep, eat, or get through the day without weeping. I pride myself on doing what needs to be done - and in this, I was leaving something so very important undone. I was sick.
At the same time, I was determined to return because I know beyond a doubt that God has planted me in San Antonio for some reason yet to be revealed.

By the time I drove my car, packed full of goods, to church that morning I was an emotional wreck. I barely held myself together right up until we began singing "He's all I need". In that instant I crumbled and I could only say "God, I need you. I know what You've called me to do and I know that I am not guilty, yet the feelings of guilt are consuming me and I can't bear under the load. Please God, take away my guilt."

And He did.

I don't know what condemnation you are facing, whether it's feelings of shame, loneliness, guilt, hurt, anger, fear, grief, or worthlessness. Maybe you're afraid you're not providing for your family, giving enough time to your kids, not patient enough with your siblings, not a hard enough worker for your employer, afraid you waste time when you should be volunteering to a cause, not reading your Bible enough, not praying enough, not being good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not wise enough, not holy enough.

The devil is always able to show you some way that you just aren't enough. And the way past those accusations isn't to show him how you are enough, how you meet whatever standard he's set for you. All you have to do is head to the Master, and confess that indeed you aren't enough - and you absolutely need the One and only one who IS enough. More than enough. And then trust in that.

I was amazed when I left church that day in far better shape than when I came. I had need of my Savior and I found Him there. He touched me, and removed my guilt and shame. It was an absolute miracle. No one can change a heart like God can.
He can do the same for you, if you just ask.

God is on your side.

Instantly, as I typed the title of this post, the traditional religious remark came to mind "God doesn't need to be on your side, YOU need to be on GODS side."
And I'm remembering a recent post someone wrote about how Christians too often think God has done something for them when in actuality God does nothing except for His own glory.

And while initially, arguments like that resonate with me and I tend to agree - I have seen a pattern of things in my life where I was the only one who knew what God did. So the glory He would have received from it would have only come from me. But that means the only reason God does nice things for me is so that I will glorify Him.

That speaks a lot about motivation. He didn't do it because He loved, but because He would be glorified.

I'm horrible about arguing spiritual points simply because someone who has actually studied scripture (as opposed to my read-and-think method) usually knocks my arguments over with verse after verse. And here I sit with only John 3:16.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

His motivations are spoken of in that verse. It's typical cause and effect. Because God loved us He sent His Son.
Perhaps I get caught away with an overly emotional view of God but, I can't help but believe that God loves us first, and an effect of that is glory.

All that to tell this story.

I went to a church program this morning. They were giving out school supplies so my sister-in-law and I took the kids by at the invitation of a lady we'd met in the supermarket the night before.
2 hours later, we'd stood waiting, while they blared incredible loud hip hop music through the speakers. We'd watched kids take the stage and do "Dance offs", play multiple rounds of "Let's make a deal", and a fashion show. We'd been subjected to a barrage of sales people - State Farm, Allstate, two different home health agencies, credit card applications, jewelry sales, and 2 different entities wanting to take the kids fingerprints.
I saw a world around me that, while some may have known God, I knew many of them probably didn't - and here, trapped in this large auditorium with an incredible opportunity to tell them of Gods love, they didn't. After 2 hours of waiting, (because they only passed out the school supplies twice an hour to the first 15 people in line) we left mid-fashion show.

I walked away disappointed. Where was God in all this? I was hurt, and more than a little tired because I've been bearing the standard "There ARE Christians, true, God-seeking Christians here in this town." and while I have found them, there are just so many other examples of what Christianity shouldn't be here that it's overwhelming.

I came home, snapped at my family, and told them to go on their plans for the afternoons outing without me. Then, I found my quiet place and tearfully asked God "Where is Your Church?"
I could think of no other question than that. I was angry, disappointed, hurt, tired, frustrated, and a few more synonyms for "upset" that I can't think about right now.

An hour later, my family left on their plans.
30 minutes after that a pastor showed up at my door.
He, and his congregant, wanted to thank us for coming to his church last week and talk to us.
They both sat and talked about biblical things with me for an hour.
I was sorry to see them go.

I believe God had a special timing for that visit, maybe nothing about our unplanned and certainly impromptu stop at their church last week was supposed to mean anything for anyone else but I believe God knew I could use some one to talk to today.
And I think He did it just because He really truly loves me and cares about my needs.
And that's why I wanted to write this - to give Him glory.

As long as He's there.

Wowwwwza.

There is a lot going on. But at the same time, it doesn't even feel like a lot. God's done an incredible work in me this week. The chaos isn't overwhelming me, it's not even coming close anymore.

(Keep your fingers crossed that this post doesn't make the devil step things up a notch though.) :)

I handed some very special people a very heavy disappointment this week. I'm disappointed for them. I know exactly what it's like when things don't work out like you imagine they will. But at the same time there is no upset, there isn't a doubt, there isn't a fear, there isn't a question.

And personally,.... and I'm sure you'll agree with me if you've read even one months worth of posts here.... for me to be that calm and peaceful is nothing short of a miracle.

I had told someone yesterday, that I'd rather be obedient and know that God is there in whatever mess I find myself in - than to be disobedient and know that God wasn't in it.

And that's exactly where I'm at. I don't know how things will work out, I just know they will. I don't have any special reassurance that the future won't be very difficult and disappointing. In fact, I'm almost expecting it to be harder than what I'm prepared for.
But at the same time I'm sitting in the last days before everything breaks open and I'm absolutely confident that God is in it. And that's good enough to see me through.

As long as He's there. I'll go anywhere.

Remind me of this post next time I'm pulling my hair out.

If there is anything that could frighten me right now, it's the knowledge that I've felt sure before, I've held blissfully on to God and then slipped right out of that surety.
This time feels the same, but different. Deeper, and certainly more weathered. But it's not so deep I can't fall again. I hope I never lose that - I don't know that timidity is the right word - but that little thing that holds me in check as I remember how easy it is to fall. And never forget that my ability to sit in this relaxed sureness is only by the grace of God.
May I seek that grace every single day, to hold onto me. Again.
And again.
And again.

What'd you smash into?

I read a post by Shaun King describing his own first hand experience with miracles.

I know it's long, but what I'm about to say hinges on his story. So before you go a step further, please go read his post.

Did you read it?




Seriously, did you read it?



Ok.
When I read the post, I was shocked at the idea that somehow he had smashed into the glass with his face. Not his head, not his body, (as he states in his blog) but his face.
Then, I took the time to enjoy the video he linked to for the song "The Presence of the Lord is Here."
One of the lines in the song caught my attention. Riveted my attention.
"He'll open up a window and pour you out a blessing."

Looking at the pictures of the windshield of his car, I saw that God did indeed open up a window. Or maybe the devil did it.
I'm not going to dig into who or Who should get credit/blame for this event. I just agree with God that all things will work together for good to them that are called according to His purpose.
Because sometimes a window opens, and a blessing pours out of it.

Sometimes though, that window gets opened by your face.

It rips, maddeningly painful, and breaks you. It breaks your plans for tomorrow, or for your lifetime. It breaks your heart. It breaks your fight, and your entire focus.

And from that, God can pour you out greater blessings than you can imagine.

Do you think I should compare it to the typical "don't pray for patience unless you want trials" ?
I'm not saying don't ask God to bless you, lest He smash your face into a window. But I am saying, sometimes you ask God to bless you, and He allows your face to smash into a window. And I say that, with a face that's been smashed at least a couple of times.

My God is good.

We're stubborn, crazy hard and earthly focused people. Our greatest blessings, come at a high cost. But with rewards so great that it outshines the birth pains of getting to it. Sometimes our greatest blessings smash us into financial craziness and 3000 miles from home. My greatest blessing smashed my face into 5 foster kids, and 5 goodbyes in 2 years. Maybe your greatest blessing is the pastorate you took over, with 20 whiny broken people who have lost that first hunger and are soon going to experience the renewal of that first love and excitement.

Maybe your greatest blessing was ruining your reputation by standing by someone everyone else had given up hope on.

When your face is smashed, blood and tears flowing out, flesh torn and pain and agony your primary thought - it's hard to imagine that this will be the greatest blessing of your life.
When she saw her sons face smashed, blood and tears flowing out, flesh torn and pain and agony His primary thought - she probably didn't imagine that this moment would be the greatest blessing for every single person in the world for all time.

But it was.

Maybe everything I'm saying is wrong. Maybe I just search for lessons to lessen the pain sometimes. Maybe I want meaning in things that are meaningless - just plain old ordinary pains from living life in a sinful world.
Either way, God's still good.