My brothers family and I are house hunting. Trying to find a house in San Antonio big enough for us all to co-habit.
The list began growing quickly.
We went gradually from a 3 bedroom 2 bath to a 5 bedroom, 3 bath with two living areas.
The two living areas? 1 is for worship, it's a place where my piano can be (so I don't have to cry because it's in a storage building somewhere) *sniffle*
And the other one is for the tv and video games and such.
And I was praying today when I felt a sudden kick in my gut, as I realized that - though we have very sincere intentions for the plans for those two rooms - the very idea behind the two rooms indicated to me two separate divisions of my heart..
There's the "God" room. I worship, I love, I pray and study the Bible.
Then there's "My" room.
Where it's still about me and I.
God wants me to have one room.
It seems like overkill. I understand.
You can be a Christian and watch tv.
You can be a Christian and play video games.
But the ways and lifestyle put to me in the Bible seem like if they were actually followed entirely that they would take everything in me.
It's always the same thing that comes to mind.
It's that point at the end of your life when you're looking into the eyes of Someone so very good. And you see in yourself the money you wasted, the time you wasted.
It breaks my heart every time I see that clip. But every so often it just plays through my mind. 1 more. I could have done more.
When I look around though, at the end of my life I don't want to be wearing the pin, or driving the car, that could have bought one more life. I want my waste to be a distant memory. It will still be regretted, but it can be a distant regret.